A Little Leaven

Pregnant Woman Sees Jesus in Ultrasound

A pregnant woman from Lorain, Ohio may have some serious responsibilities on her hands in about three-and-a-half months after she noticed an image of Jesus Christ in her ultrasound.

"Christian" Paintball?

How do you "Christianize" Paintball? Isn't Paintball a form of a war game whereby you win by shooting your opponent? How do you "Christianize" that?

Align New Testament?

This is the Align Biblezine for Men. It is a complete copy of the New Testament along with some other 'helpful' articles about such topics as 'gadgets' and SEXcess.

Pelosi's Earth Day "Bible Passage"

Apparently, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is a graduate of the "Rick Warren / Joel Osteen School of Making Up Bible Passages".

In her April 22 Earth Day news release, Pelosi said,

"The Bible tells us in the Old Testament, 'To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us.' On this Earth Day, and every day, let us pledge to our children, and our children's children, that they will have clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, and the opportunity to experience the wonders of nature."

Ummm...where does the Bible say "To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us"?

Maybe this is the 'long lost' 11th commandment.

Perhaps she was reading from the book of Hezikiah or the new Green Peace Translation.

Or maybe she was lying and was banking on the fact that Biblically illiterate Americans wouldn't know the difference.

Regardless of how noble you think your cause may be, the fact is, no one (including the Speaker of the House) has the right to make up stuff and then attribute it to the Bible.

HT: Cybercast News Service

One Sorry Church

Is the church wrong and judgmental for claiming that abortion and homosexuality are sins and contending against them? Pastor Richard Mark Lee of the Family Church in Sugar Hill, Georgia thinks so. What did he do about it? He apologized to the unchurched for being judgmental during a highly publicized church service.

We think that Pastor Richard should also apologize on behalf of God for destroying the earth by flood because of men's wickedness, destroying Sodom and Gomorah, plaguing the Egyptians and killing their first born, destroying Korah and those who followed him, killing everyone in Jericho, and killing the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel for their false religion.

God on MY TERMS 2

If you refuse to go to church unless it meets in a bar, offers pizza, hotwings, rowdy fun, a show, and a SHORT message. Then you're in luck! Country Rock Church is for you. It is affiliated with Sidney First United Methodist (an extremely liberal denomination) but who cares what they believe and teach when you can have church IN A BAR. Here's what a local TV station said about it.

What we'd like to know is how pizza, hotwings, beer and a short message in a BAR makes this a 'real faith'? The Bible doesn't mention any of those things. Silly us, we thought a 'real faith' was one that trusts in Christ alone for salvation. We thought a 'real faith' was one whose center and substance is 'Jesus Christ crucified for sinners'. We have no Biblical idea how pizza and hot wings and beer play into a 'real faith'.

But why bother people with logical questions like that when people are fooling themselves into believing that they can have God on THEIR TERMS. Asking Biblical questions is only likely to ruin the illusion for some of these people And living a lie is much more fun than facing the truth.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil - John 3:19

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Will there be a Celebrate Recovery Meeting after the service?

Jesus Spotted at Florida Hospital

Orlando FL, - A crowd inside the Florida Hospital Medical Complex in Orlando snapped photos of the image apparently showing the profile of Jesus Christ crying.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

Rob Bell's Comments at Seeds of Compassion *** Updated***

***Update***
We've added more video and more context to some of the videos so that you can get a more complete picture of what Bell said and the context in which he made those comments.

Rob Bell shared the stage today with "his holiness" the Dalai Lama during an InterSpiritual panel discussion at the Seeds of Compassion conference.

Bell's defenders claimed that he would be a voice for Christianity at this event. But, right out of the box Bell's comments accomplished nothing more than blend with the ooooie goooie non-sensical one world spirituality that was being promoted at this event.

Here was Bell's opening remarks. Pay close attention to Bell's spiritual platitudes. Notice that he merely says that love, forgiveness and compassion are a 'better way'. It sounds nice. It sounds spiritual. But without Christ these thoughts have no meaning. There is nothing distinctly Christian about what Bell says.

In the next video Rob Bell answers the question that a twelve year old boy asked. Here was his question...

"What can I do to not be so hard on myself when I make a mistake?"

If Bell were giving a Christian answer then he should have mentioned the forgiveness of sins won by Jesus Christ on the cross. Here was Rob Bell's answer...

In this third video pay close attention to how Bell allegorizes death and resurrection so that it can fit neatly and inoffensively into the generic one-world spirituality being promoted at this event.

This final video gives more context regarding the 'spirituality' that was being promoted at this event.

Please watch the entire event video so that you can see these comments in their full context. You will find that this event taught that all religions have the same essence and a one world spirituality AND Rob Bell, by his presence and lack of saying anything that was distinctly Christian and because he didn't even mention Jesus Christ and His crucifixion for the sins of the world (the gospel) appeared to be in agreement with the other speakers.

Cheesus

Exorcist the Musical?

Here's an idea...take a famous horror movie about the devil and demon possession and turn it into a musical. It is sure to have some heads spinning.

Let Jesus Into Your Wii

Mission Bay Community Church in San Francisco, California (figures) is offering a Jesus Mii to anyone who attends their church and brings their Wii Remote with them.

What can you do with a Jesus Mii on your Nintendo Wii? Well, according to the church's website:

You can box with Jesus, golf with Him, or even bowl with Him! A night bowling with Jesus? What could be better? Especially if you get that turkey and best Him by 100 points! Don't worry;—He'll forgive you.

We've always wanted to golf and bowl with Jesus. Wow! Just think...Jesus can now be your new BFF.

Crucifixion? It Wasn't That Bad, Says British Professor

Apparently Jesus got off pretty easy and crucifixion isn't all that bad according to marxist professor Terry Eagleton. The Telegraph reports:

The Crucifixion of Christ "wasn't as bad as it's been painted", an outspoken Marxist academic will claim on the BBC this month.

Terry Eagleton, Professor of Cultural Theory at the University of Manchester, will say on Radio 4's Lent Talks that Jesus "got off pretty lightly" because it only took him three hours to die, The Daily Telegraph has learned.

He adds that Jesus's scourging was a "blessing in disguise" because it hastened his death. He also attacks modern Christianity for siding with the rich and abandoning the poor.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

Christoga?

Here's yet another attempt to combine Yoga and Christianity. It's called Christoga (oooh that's original...how long do you think it took to come up with that name). If you'd like to see a video demonstration of this syncretistic exercise form click here.

Recycle or Burn in Hell Warns Vatican

Who needs the Biblical 10 Commandments when we have the Catholic church inventing their own sin lists? According to one news source...

Failing to recycle plastic bags could find you spending eternity in Hell, the Vatican said after drawing up a list of seven deadly sins for our times.

The seven, which include polluting the environment, were announced by Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, a close ally of the Pope and the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, one of the Roman Curia's main court.

The "sins of yesteryear" - sloth, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath and pride - have a "rather individualistic dimension", he told the Osservatore Romano, the official Vatican newspaper.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

"Christian" Credit Card

Family Christian Stores are now offering credit cards. This way you can rack up a ton of debt so that you'll need to purchase all of the books they sell on getting out of debt. In other words they're selling both the disease and the cure.

Exegeting a Nursery Rhyme?

This is soooooooo deep it is unfathomable. Actually it is an absolute pile of poppycock.

Get Self Centered?

Self Centeredness is now a spiritual movement. Too bad the scriptures say that is the root of humanity's problem. The goal of this movement is...

To inspire one million people to get selfcentered by spending time each day connecting to their authentic inner-self… We teach tools to help you go within. Through our wildly entertaining and experiential events, you will learn a number of different techniques that help you step back, get grounded, feel centered, and live authentically…

The selfcentered Tour is led by the next generation for the next generation. Our movement attracts dynamic, conscious, and creative people who are interested in feeling more centered, living with more passion, and being more authentic. But beware, we don’t teach in a traditional fashion.

How many minutes will it be before some enterprising seeker-sensitive type incorporates this into their church in the name of being 'relevant'?

Queer Christian?

Moses was Tripping on Drugs at Mount Sinai?!

The former head of the Hebrew University psychology department is claimimg that Moses didn't really meet with God on Mt. Sinai, but was instead high on psychedelic drugs.

According to Haaretz.com:

"And all the people perceived the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the voice of the horn, and the mountain smoking." Thus the book of Exodus describes the impressive moment of the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai.

The "perceiving of the voices" has been interpreted endlessly since these words were first written. When Professor Benny Shanon, professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, reads the verse, he recalls a powerful hallucinatory experience he had when he visited the Amazon and drank a potion made from a plant called ayahuasca.

"One of the things that happens when you drink the potion is a visual experience created via sounds," he says.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story.

Mystic Monk's Mouldering Remains to Be Displayed to Misled Masses

When the center of your faith is YOU and YOUR piety and YOUR Changed Life rather than Christ Crucified for Our Sins then ridiculous and absurd things like this are bound to happen.

Reuters is reporting that:

The body of the mystic monk Padre Pio, one of the Roman Catholic world's most revered saints who died 40 years ago, has been exhumed to be prepared for display to his many devotees.

The body of the Capuchin friar, who was said to have had the stigmata -- the wounds of Christ's crucifixion -- on his hands and feet -- is to be conserved and put in a part-glass coffin for at least several months from April 24....

Among the stories that surround him is one that he wrestled with the devil in his monastery cell.

Padre Pio is also said to have predicted future events, to have been seen in two places at once, and to have been able to tell people their sins before they confessed them to him.

Pope John Paul II made him a saint in 2002 at a ceremony that drew one of the biggest crowds ever to the Vatican after the Church said it had found evidence that the miraculous cure of a sick woman was due to the dead monk's intercession.

Here's how we see it. Padre Pio is dead and has been dead for 40 years. That proves that he was just as much a sinner as me and you. Our focus should be on Jesus Christ who is the author and perfecter of our faith instead of dead stinking corpses.

Sadly too many American Evangelicals and Protestants have become just like the Roman Catholics and have exchanged Christ's perfect righteousness for their own self-righteousness. The goofiness they're engaging in is every bit as crazy as digging up a mouldering carcass and putting it on display.

Bonanza Bible Study?

Now you can discover God's never before revealed purposes in the stories of Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe Cartright.

Basically these are moralizing stories lifted from these old T.V. shows and then baptized with a Bible verse or two.

Prank 3:16

Slap a pseudo Bible verse onto a hidden camera prank show that targets church people and "PRESTO" you have a "Christian" comedy "ministry".

Ironically, we haven't seen material this inappropriate on the secular version of these shows.

HT: Slice of Laodicea

"Christian" Goth?

How do you blend Jesus Christ and Goth?

Jesus the Lactivist??

This is not satire.

Moses Code?

Spiritual garbage!

Ticket to Heaven

Want to go to heaven? Simply sign your name on this ticket and present it to Peter when you arrive at the Pearly Gates. What could be easier than that?

Need More Spirituality? Try a Labyrinth.

Virgin Mary Pretzel Selling for $2.5 Million on eBay

Unbelievable!

***Update***

The bid just jumped to $99,000,100

Who would pay that amount of money for a pretzel???

HT: Movie Pastor

Bible Cure for Prostate Disorders

The Bible can teach us how to cure prostate disorders...who knew?

Attack of the Marijuana Ministers Part 3

This is NOT satire. We promise. Pastor Craig X is totally baked.

The one thing that needs to be pointed out to all of these pot preachers is that Marijuana is NOT the Biblical Tree of Life. Now that man has sinned and been cast from the Garden of Eden the Cross is the ONLY tree that we can go to in order to receive eternal life. It is THE CROSS OF CALVARY alone that is our "Tree of Life"!

Marijuana Ministers Post Rebuttal on YouTube

We couldn't write this stuff if we tried. The Marijuana Ministers that we featured not too long ago here in the Museum of Idolatry have posted a video rebuttal on YouTube. Here is what the video description says:

Bruce and Brenda Shoop are ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and they are currently in Jail in Baldwin County Alabama for their religious belief in Christ. Christ means Messiah and Messiah is the Hebrew word for Anointed, the Holy Anointing Oil of Moses contained Cannabis.

Seriously, how has the Christian church survived for so long without Cannabis laced anointing oil? These folks are not ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They're charlatans and pot heads who are trying to find a way to justify their pot use by making up their own religion.

Rumor has it that after they shot this video the Shoops and their followers all had a serious case of the munchies so they went down to 7-11 and loaded up on Twinkies and powdered donuts.

This Message Probably Won't Fill Those Empty Seats

Ultimate Christian Wrestling?

Apparently the world was starving for Christian Wrestling. Who knew?

Nothing says "Jesus loves you" more than smashing your opponent on the head with a folding chair, body slamming him, then locking him in a sleeper hold.

HT: Reformation Nation

Jedi Jesus

Now that the Jedi Religion has its own church. Post-Modern Emergents are probably already looking for a way to have an interfaith 'conversation' with members of this new cutting-edge religion. Luckily, some young enterprising and internet saavy marketeers have already created Jedi Jesus t-shirts. These t-shirts ought to be able to pave the way for Christians to begin exploring 'force spirituality' in a post-protestant, post-evangelical context. (We also would be willing to wager a few dollars that some of the Purpose-Driven pastors out there are already concocting seeker-sensitive services based on the Star Wars movies and Jedi 'force spirituality'.)

Jedi Church?

The Jedi Religion is now available in our galaxy. At least that is what the BBC is reporting. Since post-modern culture just loves to make up their own concepts of religion and spirituality, the creation of a Jedi Church should come as no surprise to anyone. What's really interesting is that if you read the Jedi Church's doctrinal statement, it doesn't sound much different than what Emergents like McLaren and Pagitt teach.

This is a Christian Album?

The synergistic Christian Rock Band UP2U has just released their latest album entitled, The Other F-Word.

Here's what one critic wrote about this album:

"www.SHOTGUNREVIEWS.COM - "Calling a spiritual rock record The Other F-Word is definitely marketing genius at work"

Wow! Now it is considered to be a stroke of "marketing genius" when Christians make references to profanity to peddle the gospel.

Marijuana Ministers?

Here's a news story about a minister and his wife who were arrested after they grew a 28 pound marijuana plant in their backyard. They named it the Tree of Life and claim they use marijuana as a religious sacrament to help them commune with God, the prophets and Jesus Christ.

They've even set up their own legal defense fund and the logo for the fund includes a cross and a marijuana leaf.

Ten Plagues Bowling Game?

For hours of Biblical excitement we recommend the Ten Plagues Bowling Set. Everyone knows that plagues are 'oh soooo cute' and fun.

Blessed by a Prayer Rug?

A patron of our museum recently received this in the mail and forwarded it to us. The mailer was from Matthew's Churches and they are sending out "anointed prayer rugs" and promising spiritual blessings for those who fill out their form and mail it back to the church. Not only is this mailer creeeeeepy, it has all the classic signs of a scam.

Highway 35 is NOT the Biblical Highway of Holiness

We expect that this exhibit will be controversial but heresy and false teaching in the Church is not limited to the Purpose Driven crowd and the Emergent Church. False teaching can arise in any church that put's personal revelation, dreams and visions on par with scripture. This is the case with the "Highway of Holiness" movement.

The people in this movement are not correctly handling God's word. The entire premise of this movement is based upon a bad and false interpretation of Isaiah 35:8 that came about as a result of a "personal revelation". But we need to ask ourselves if the Holy Spirit would ever twist God's word? Answer: Never!

This movement resembles the exact type of nonsense we see in the Catholic Church with those who claim to see visions of Mary. These 'visions' are distractions that turn our attention away from Christ. Sadly, that is exactly what is happening here because the center of our faith and message is not "holiness" it is Christ and Him Crucified for Sinners. Regardless of their good intentions, this 'Highway of Holiness' movement has all the earmarks of a false revival that is built on a faulty reading of God's word, emotionalism, false visions and legalism rather than on Christ.

Gay Nativity Scene?

For some people the "real" problem with the traditional story of Christmas is that there are just not enough openly gay characters in the Biblical story. (Just a guess here, but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that homosexuality is a sin) So, some politicians in Italy decided to fix that 'problem' by inserting homosexual couples into Parliament's nativity scene.

Gilligan's Island and the Seven Deadly Sins "Bible Study"

If the Beverly Hillbillies "Bible Study" isn't your cup of tea, you may want to try the Gilligan's Island "Bible Study".

If we were to write the product description for this "Bible Study" here's what we'd say about it:

This light-hearted, relevant and humorous approach to the Seven Deadly Sins will have you and your small group laughing out loud as you enjoy a three hour tour of this classic T.V. show. As an added bonus you may also occasionally hear verses from the Bible. But don't worry, these verses have been diluted so that no one in your small group will feel overly convicted or judged. The best part is that this "Bible Study" is virtually "cross free". That means you can invite your Muslim and Mormon friends to your small group and they won't feel offended by an overtly Christian message about Jesus' Christ being God in Human flesh, His death on the cross for our sins and His bodily resurrection from the dead three days later.

As the Bible says, "The cross is a stumbling block for Jews and foolishness to Greeks" that's why we virtually removed the cross from our "Bible Study". We wouldn't want to put any stumbling blocks in the way of people who are trying to live God pleasing lives.

Beverly Hillbillies "Bible Study"

We really wish this was satire but it isn't. Despite the fact that this isn't satarical, we think this is a just a JOKE.

Bizarro Jesus

We here at the Museum of Idolatry think that this abstract painting by Anthony Falbo is actually a highly accurate depiction of the "Jesus" that so many Americans have cobbled together for themselves. Their attitude is, "Who cares if 'My Jesus' doesn't even remotely look or sound like the Biblical Jesus. 'My Jesus' works for me."

Can Warren Top Hillary Clinton's Appearance?

Now that Hillary Clinton has spoken from the pulpit at Saddleback Church and the media is already spinning the story in such a way that Evangelical Christians are supposedly 'warming up' to leftist pro-abortion socialist politicians, we'd like to know how Rick Warren plans to top this year's performance. Afterall, one year ago Barack Obama spoke at Saddleback Church and Warren topped Obama's appearance by giving his pulpit to Hillary Clinton. So we'd like to know how he plans to make an even bigger splash at next year's AIDS Summit?

We'd like to offer some suggestions by way of a blog poll. Below is our "short list" of suggested featured speakers for Rick Warren's 2008 Saddleback AIDS Summit. Please be sure to vote for your favorite.

If you're not particularly fond of any of the men on our short list, please remember the words that Warren gave to justify Hillary's appearance at Saddleback Church. Said Warren:

“...when millions are dying each year we are interested in lives, not labels”

Apparently, in Rick Warren's world (AKA Purpose Land), the Pro-Abortion "Label" is just a "Label". It doesn't have any "real" consequences regarding any "real" human lives. So now it is okay to be "Pro-Abortion" as long as you work with Warren to save lives by fighting the AIDS epidemic.

This explains why we chose the men that we did for next years AIDS summit.

"Brutal Communist Dictator" is JUST A LABEL. "Islamic Facist" is JUST A LABEL. "Terrorist" is JUST A LABEL. As Rick Warren said, "when millions are dying each year we are interested in lives, not labels."

The Super Fun Activity Bible

You have to look really close or you'll miss the fact that this comic book looking magazine with the Top Secret decoder and the article about Real Super Heroes is also a Bible. This feels like the spiritual equivalent of drowning veggies in syrup so that your kids will eat them. What ever happened to a plain old Holy Bible?

Holy Pancake Auctioned on eBay

Apparently, Jesus and Mary have appeared on a pancake in Port St. Lucie, Florida. This "miraculous" breakfast has been auctioned on eBay for $338.

Gospel Aerobics - An "Inspirational Workout"

From time to time we have to feature an exhibit more than once here in the museum. Paul Eugene's Gospel Aerobics are unique to say the least and worth another look. Enjoy

Holy Laughter??

Jesus Tongue Piercing Barbell

Nothing says I love Jesus more than this Jesus Tongue Piercing Barbell. Jesus was pierced for your transgressions, why not return the favor?

Leave Britney Alone!

Here is another commercial for the City Church in Chicago. Our jaws are still hurting after hitting the floor while watching this.

Church Sponsored Potty Toss?

This year's Harvest Celebration at Mt. Zion Christian Fellowship in Greenville, SC has some interesting games for their kids to play. Our favorites are the...

Wheel of Blessing
Holy Ghost Shoot Out
Potty Toss.

Exactly how is this supposed to be more 'holy' and 'sanctified' than Halloween? We think it may actually be better for your children to go trick-or-treating than participate in a church sponsored shoot out and potty toss.

The Serpent-Driven Church

Salvation Saloon?

This is from a conversation that was overheard on a Monday morning at an office building in Clearwater, Florida.

"Jack you look terrible."

"I've got another hangover."

"Jack, what are you thinking? If you're going to drink like that then save it for Friday or Saturday night."

"It's not what you think. I was attending church down at the saloon and one thing lead to another."

"You went to church at a saloon!?"

"Yeah, it's really hip and relevant. The pastor doesn't judge us if we want to do shots during the praise songs. The only problem is that I never seem to be able to remember what the sermon was about or how I got home."

Priest Has No Problem Worshiping God AND Elvis

Reuters: "Romanian-born Antonio Petrescu believes you can worship God and Elvis at the same time: as a Catholic priest and Elvis Presley impersonator, he finds his spiritual inspiration in the late rock legend.

"People ask me 'How can you reconcile Elvis impersonations with your choice of professional work?'" said Petrescu, who puts on his glittery suits and swivels his hips when not working as a parish priest in the Italian town of Avezzano."

"I Watch Joel Osteen" Lapel Pin

From the website that sells these lapel pins.

"Help spread the message of his ministry by displaying the "I W J O" logo.
Wear this lapel pin on your clothing and display the decal on your car or window.
When someone ask you about the logo, it gives you the perfect
opportunity to tell them when and where they can watch Pastor Joel on TV."

Late Pope John Paul II Sited in Poland

The Vatican News Service is reporting on the miraculous appearance of the late Pope John Paul II in a bon fire.

What does this say about his eternal destination?

HT: Dead Theologians

Ahoy There Mates!

We think that Gary Lamb and Revolution Church may get their own wing in our museum. First they deck their church out to look like a Las Vegas Casino and now they've made their church into a Pirate Ship for their current series entitled "Reclaiming Your Lost Treasure".

So with a name like that you'd think the sermon series might be about the parable of the 'Pearl of Great Price" or about the treasure of our salvation won for us by Jesus Christ's death for our sins on the cross of Calvary, right? Wrong!

Please read. The graphic below is taken straight from their website.

Ummm... what on earth does this have to do with Jesus Christ, Christianity, the Bible, the cross and our salvation? Furthermore, we can't recall a single time in scriptures that the Apostles preached about taking their money back from the devil or reclaiming that which is 'rightfully' theirs (referring to money).

Sorry but this is not what we go to church for.

If you want good financial advice we recommend that you contact a TRAINED financial planner/specialist and avoid UNTRAINED pastors dressed like pirates offering to give you 'pearls of financial wisdom'. Remember, when a pastor gives you this type of advice he's expecting you to hand over 10% of your gross annual salary.

Five Grand for the Face of Jesus on a Piece of Snack Mix?

Some enterprising huckster is selling a piece of snack mix that allegedly has Jesus face on it. This auction on eBay has an opening bid of $5,000.

Is this really a miraculous bit of snack mix or is it a miracle that there are people stupid enough to fall for this kind of stuff?

How to Share Your Faith Using Halo 3

Just a few short weeks ago we posted a satire piece called the Halo Bible Study. Today, the Christian Post has an article about how to share your faith using Halo 3.

We're fairly certain that the folks buying Halo 3 are not interested in comparing Jesus to Master Chief John 117. They are not looking for Halo 3 to give them a spiritual experience. They want kewl graphics, awesome explosions and wicked weapons so that they can 'virtually' annihilate their on-line friends.

Mr. Woodcock "Discussion Questions"!?!?

Have the folks at Christianity Today lost their minds?! They've posted a movie review of Mr. Woodcock (notice any sexual overtones in that name) and along with their review they've posted discussion questions. Are they hoping that some relevant pastors will show this movie to their congregations and mine it for its spiritual content? Are they anticipating a flood of small group leaders wanting to use this movie in their groups? Here are their discussion starter questions (this is NOT satire):

1. Mr. Woodcock says the word "sorry" is only for "criminals and screw-ups." Do you agree or disagree? Would you apply those words the same way Mr. Woodcock applies them, or differently? In what way might we all be "criminals and screw-ups"?

2. In what ways might the hard line toed by Mr. Woodcock be a sign of strength? In what ways might it be a sign of weakness? In what ways might weakness, itself, be a sign of strength? Note how the film suggests it takes "backbone" to say "sorry."

3. John says his book has been helpful to people, and Mr. Woodcock replies, "Lot of losers out there, I guess." When have you been tempted to dismiss people as "losers"? Why do you think people tend to look at others that way? Do you (or did you) ever see yourself as a "loser"? If so, in what way? And how do you/did you deal with it?

4. Beverly is in a relationship and has not told her son; and once her son finds out, she is reluctant to accept her son's criticisms of Mr. Woodcock. How do you think single parents should approach new relationships, after their children have matured to adulthood? How would you respond if you had a mother like Beverly? A son like John? Do you "buy" the relationship between Beverly and Mr. Woodcock? What do you think it is based on?

5. How difficult do you think it is for people to relate to parents and teachers as fellow adults, after they have grown up? How has your relationship to human authority figures changed over the years? Have these changes affected the way you see your relationship with the ultimate Authority, i.e. God? If so, how?

6. At the beginning of the film, John has published a book encouraging people to "get past your past." By the end of the film, he is saying that people should "embrace" their past. If you had to choose between these options, which would you choose? Do you think you have to choose between them? What are their pros and cons?

We are dumbfounded by this.

"I" Church

We wonder if the "I" Church uses the iBible?

When did the church stop being Christ's Church? When did Jesus stop being the one who transforms people's lives through the proper preaching and teaching of His word? When did Jesus just leave it up to us to invent our own models of church and to come up with our own visions and ideas about how to make disciples?

Polka Worship

First Lutheran Church in Temple, Texas will be holding a Polka Worship service for all of you who dig Polka. We wonder if Weird Al will be at the accordion.

Jesus Joins the Power Team?

We wonder if Jesus is now going to break bricks with his head and tear apart phone books so that people will chose him to be their powerful savior.

Pole Dancing Ministry?

Many times we think that things in the Christian Church cannot sink any lower, then along comes a story that proves us wrong. This is one of them.

The Ledger, a newspaper in Florida has a story about two Christian women who've opened up a health club that features Pole Dancing. Yes, this is the very same 'pole dancing' made famous in strip clubs. Said one of these Christian women:

"We wanted to take the stigma off it. We don't do any exotic at all; we're not into that. We're two Christian women. It's not about nudity; it's about getting your body to the place you want to be and not being judged."

Here is the link to the Ledger Story.

With the way things are going in the church it is now just a matter of time before some innovative pastor finds a way to weave pole-dancing into church. These women have already taken the first step. Below is a satirical story we've written that we are certain will become reality within the next few years.

--- begin satirical/prophetic news story ---

Abundant Life Fellowship, the church that bills itself as the church where you can "Experience God's Perfect Plan For Your Life, Today" is proudly reporting that 66 people gave their hearts to Jesus during the first performance of their new "Pole Dancing Ministry".

Several on-line discernment ministries have spoken out against the event saying that it is "inappropriate for churches to use pole dancing for evangelism."

Pole dancing which is a popular form of entertainment in strip clubs has been working its way into the main stream over the last several years with several companies and health clubs offering it as a way for women to shape and tone their bodies.

Pastor Steven Ignoble of Abundant Life Fellowship defends his decision to use pole dancing for reaching the un-churched. Said Ignoble:

"There were 66 people who came to Jesus because of this outreach event! God is the one who made the female body and I am sure that God has no problem with these women using their bodies to spread the gospel. Plus our ladies never take all of their clothes off so this is way different than what happens in a strip club. Yes, it is true that Satan has been using Pole Dancing for decades as a way to snare men into sinning. But, that is precisely why the church should be rejoicing about the fact that we've taken pole dancing away from the enemy and are using it to advance God's Kingdom. While those 'discernment' ministries are attacking us and ripping our methods...Heaven is rejoicing in the victory of 66 people having their names written in the Book of Life!!!"

Pastor Ignoble also plans to incorporate this new ministry into the regular Sunday morning praise and worship services by setting up two poles on opposite sides of the stage for these ladies praise the Lord with.