A Little Leaven

UCC’s health advocates press for increased condom distribution IN CHURCHES

Note: This is NOT an April Fool's Joke.

The United Church of Christ is pressing for a new type of 'sex challenge' for their churches. They want UCC Churches to be condom distribution centers.

Highlighting the need for churches to be places of spiritual and physical wellness, UCAN, Inc. (United Church of Christ HIV and AIDS Network) has issued a statement encouraging condom distribution at places of worship.

The statement, presented to the UCC’s Wider Church Ministries joint board meeting in Cleveland March 19, comes on the heels of a renewed focus on the global HIV/AIDS epidemic."(Online Source)

Wow, we missed that mandate in the scriptures. We had no idea that fulfilling the great commission included handing out condoms so that people can engage in sinful sexual activity without fear of contracting a disease.

Church authorities not to discipline Dutch 'atheist' pastor

Utrecht, Netherlands (ENI). Two regional church authorities in the Netherlands are reported to have decided to take no disciplinary action against a self-proclaimed atheist pastor, Klaas Hendrikse.

The decision of the authorities in the southern Dutch province of Zeeland was published in a letter to their congregations, the Protestant daily newspaper the Nederlands Dagblad reported on 24 March.

The church authorities said disciplinary proceedings against Hendrikse, who is a pastor of the Protestant Church in the Netherlands, would be likely to lead to, 'a protracted discussion about the meanings of words that in the end will produce little clarity'. The letter also noted that people have debated the issue of 'God's existence' throughout time.

Hendrikse gained attention with his book published in November 2007, in which he said that it was not necessary to believe in God's existence in order to believe in 'God'. The Dutch title of the book translates as, 'Believing in a God who does not exist: manifesto of an atheist pastor'.

In his book, Hendrikse recounts how his conviction that God does not exist has become stronger over the years.

'The non-existence of God is for me not an obstacle but a precondition to believing in God. I am an atheist believer,' Hendrikse writes in the book. 'God is for me not a being but a word for what can happen between people. Someone says to you, for example, 'I will not abandon you', and then makes those words come true. It would be perfectly alright to call that [relationship] God.' "

(Via Ecumenical News International.)

Bill Clinton a Calvinist?!

Who knew?

The Vatican claims Darwin's theory of evolution is compatible with Christianity

The Telegraph is reporting, "The Vatican has admitted that Charles Darwin's theory of evolution should not have been dismissed and claimed it is compatible with the Christian view of Creation." Click Here for the Whole Story

Preaching About Superbowl Commercials

Apparently preaching from the Bible is something that pastors feel no obligation to do now-a-days. Now we can stick it to the man and preach about the deep spiritual messages in Superbowl Commercials. (too bad that the man they're sticking it to is Jesus)

Pay real close attention when the video gets to the 1:22 mark. You will witness this Methodist congregation in the Dallas Fort Worth area singing that deep and meaningful hymn "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Field Goal of Life"

Soaking Prayer?!?!

Without ANY passages in the scriptures teaching that we can engage in "soaking prayer" and without a single example of any of the Biblical patriarchs, Jesus or His disciples engaging in "soaking prayer" these people have invented a way to 'experience' the love of the God. Yet, God has NO WHERE promised that He could be 'experienced' in this way. But then again the folks at the Toronto Airport "Christian" Fellowship are also the ones that brought us the so-called 'laughing revival'.

So if you're exhausted after having the spirit bubble up from your belly then you can get some rest by engaging in 'soaking prayer'. But, neither practice can be found in the scriptures.

***The Last Word*** - Chris Rosebrough, the curator of the Museum of Idolatry, reviewed this video and so-called 'soaking prayer' on the Fighting for the Faith radio program.
Click Here to Listen

How to Share Your Faith Using MTV's America's Best Dance Crew

Jane Dratz, guest columnist for the Christian Post is on a mission to share the 'Christian faith' with everything EXCEPT the Bible. This time she is advocating sharing the Christian the faith using MTV's America's Best Dance Crew.

Below is a video snippet from the program. See if you can spot Jesus, the Bible or the Gospel in the video.

We have some suggestions for Jane Dratz for some follow up columns that she could write.

• How to Share Your Faith Using an Old Mop and Some Soapy Water.

• How to Share Your Faith Using a Rock and Some Duct Tape

• How to Share Your Faith Using Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition

WARNING: This video is NOT Family Friendly! It is suggestive and worldly. The reason why we are showing this video is because the Christian Post believes that this is appropriate material for Christians to use in sharing their faith.

How to Share Your Faith Using Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love

The Christian Post has yet another ooooh soooo relevant article that explains how to share your faith using Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love. This is another shallow and vain attempt for Christians to try to marry themselves to the current spirit of the age in order to avoid the scandal of the cross and the offense of the gospel message that Christ died for our sins (Ironically, this song is NOT new. It was released in late 2007). Furthermore the article is written from a victim mentality rather than Biblical position that we are all wretched sinners who stand guilty before God and are in need of a savior and need to repent and believe the good news that Christ died for our sins.

Christians Need to Get Back to Sharing the Biblical Gospel by Using the Bible Instead of Trying to Hitch a Ride on the Latest Popular Thing in the Culture!

Jesus Was Downloaded?

Here's an interesting explanation of Christ's incarnation.

The Price is Right

This price seems like it is just right for these Jesus Junk T-Shirts.

Here is something to think about...

So-Called "Christian Merchandise" is a multi-billion dollar a year industry in the United States.

We think it is a perverse form of evil that we rich Americans waste so much money on ourselves buying all of this Jesus Junk while there are billions of people dying of extreme poverty and preventable diseases around the world.

We here at the Museum of Idolatry believe that Christians should ingore all of this Jesus Junk and instead spend our money by prayerfully supporting true Christian missionaries, and charitably helping and assisting the poor and needy in our communities and around the world.

Fact is, in some nations $6.66 could keep a poverty stricken child alive for almost a month.

Further Resources

If you're looking for a real Christian relief organization that you can support that won't compromise the message of the Gospel by 'uniting' with other world religions' may we suggest that you consider supporting LCMS World Relief and Human Care.

And if you would like to read a FANTASTIC article on how charitable acts of mercy flow from the preaching of repentance and the forgiveness of sins then click here to download Theology for Mercy.

One Sabbath?

Where in the Bible does it say that Christians are supposed to work with people of other religions in order to solve the problem of poverty in the world?

We thought that the Great Commission said:

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you... (Matt 28:19-20)

Or as Jesus says in the Gospel of Luke:

Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things...(Luke 24:46-48)

Well here is a website that is trying to unite the world religions in order to solve the global problems of extreme poverty and diseases and Rick Warren has signed on to this. Are Christians supposed to be working with false and idolatrous religions in order solve the problems of disease and poverty? Can Christians really be "One" with them in mission?

May we be so bold as to offer a Biblical answer to the questions we've just posed. According to the Bible (not Rick Warren or Bono) Christians cannot work with these other religions.

Cor. 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, 18 and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

Kitschmas: Alien Nativity

This out of this world Christmas card features the 'Alien Nativity'.

A Divine Salsa Spill

Church Tries Goth Liturgy

The pursuit of relevance has pastors doing some very strange and questionable things. Here is a story from a news paper in Northeastern Pennsylvania:

NANTICOKE -- Churches continually strive to attract fresh faces into their flocks, and one of the challenges they face is getting the attention of younger people who may have turned their backs, according to the Rev. Lou Divis, deacon in charge at St. George’s Episcopal Church.

To address this quandary, the church on Main Street in Nanticoke embraced a new approach called the Goth Liturgy on Saturday night at 9. Unlike the traditional Sunday-morning service in which an organist, choir and congregation join in energetic hymns of praise, the Goth Liturgy is more “meditative,” Divis said.

The church is dimly light, lined with candles and full of the aroma of burning incense. Gregorian chants from the 12th century and faith-based music from techno bands such as Depeche Mode and Love Spirals Downward played softly during the hymn segments.

The servers were dressed in black robes and the guest celebrant, the Rev. Peter D’Angio from St. Luke‘s Episcopal Church in Scranton, was clothed in a flowing white robe.

Share Your Faith Using Paris Hilton's MTV Reality TV Show "My New BFF"?

The Christian Post has an article explaining to Christians "How to Share Their Faith Using Paris Hilton’s My New BFF" (that was not a typo)

"Paris Hilton’s My New BFF" is a reality T.V. show where contestants are competing to become Paris Hilton's new best friend. The show includes A LOT of partying, gossiping, back stabbing and all the vanity, debauchery, immorality and shallowness that Paris Hilton's life represents. But apparently Christians can help convert someone to Christianity using this show?!?

We have an idea, maybe the Christian Post should feature some articles on how to share your faith USING THE BIBLE!!!

Home Protection Saint

Does the idea of a burglary or home invasion robbery undermine your sense of security? Are you looking for a way to protect yourself and your family? Forget home security systems, alarms or Laser Shield. What you really need is Saint Benedict the patron saint of home protection. Thugs and criminals don't have a chance if you have a Saint Benedict statue in your home.

Image of Jesus Spotted on Ceiling of Weightloss Center

The USA in Jerusalem

Did you know that the USA was hidden in Jerusalem? It's true. See... the USA is Zion afterall.

More Naked Church

Here's a really 'relevant' sermon series from Pine Ridge Church. Their inviting ya'll to meet them at church 'naked'.

St. Joseph Home Selling Kit

Are you having trouble selling your home in this difficult housing market? Have you considered burying a statue of St. Joseph in your yard? It's supposed to miraculously help you find a buyer for your house. (it's just like magic.)

Here's what the site selling this miraculous kit says:

The Miraculous Double Novena St. Joseph/St. Jude House selling kit is especially made for that impossible-to-sell home! The age-old Catholic practice of burying a statue of St. Joseph in order to sell a house is making a comeback!

Motorcycle Blessing??

We thought only Roman Catholic churches blessed things like dogs, boats and motorcycles. Well...Here is a 'protestant' church that is holding and event where they are going to 'bless motorcycles'. What book of the bible is that found in, 5th Corinthians?

Veggie Tales Jesus

This is a Veggie Tale of a different kind.

Jesus With Your Pet (dead pet)

Has your favorite pet joined the choir invisible? Now you can have a touching photograph made in tribute to your former pet.

Klingon Bible?

Just in case you have a close encounter of the Klingon kind, there is a now a Klingon Language Version (KLV) Bible that you can use to share the gospel. We probably shouldn't be complaining because this thing actually looks far more accurate than The Message.

Jesus Swimming

Michael Phelps had better watch his back. Here is an entire website dedicated to Jesus the swimmer. We bet the King of Kings would leave Phelps spinning in his wake.

Cat Fur Jesus?

Laser Monk?

Ink, toner and changed lives.

Mortuary Outreach for 'Raising the Dead'?!?

Does your church have a mortuary outreach that is dedicated to raising people from the dead? This is not a joke. Seriously, does your church send 'ministry teams' to mortuaries in order to raise dead corpses back to life?

Here is video from Extreme Prophetic (one of the groups that Todd Bentley hangs with) telling stories about their 'mortuary outreach'.

HT: DefCon

Flirt to Convert?!?

These are from websites dedicated to Missionary Dating. The idea is for hot Christian women to date hot heathen men in order to convert them to Christianity and fulfill the great commission.

The first site is Flirt to Convert

The other site is Date to Save

Prophetic Awareness Soap

Zoe Ministries has a new scam they are pulling on the gullible and Biblically iliterate. Get this, they are sell "Prophetic Awareness Soap" and their website claims that this soap will help you:

Walk in the confidence that has been given to you by God Almighty as you bathe with this soap, know that you are becoming more aware and spiritually guarded, so that you can meet life's challenges. This is a soap that helps bring protection and give you a greater ability to function with greater intuition and insight.

What a load of garbage!

Pagan Christianity (gasp)

We just finished reading a book written by George Barna entitled "Pagan Christianity". Aside from being one of the most poorly researched books we've run across, it's 'arguments' are probably some of the lamest that we've ever read (Barna and Viola literally cherry pick their evidence and ignore the large body of evidence that easily overturns their claims). The book basically argues that just about everything that we do in church is a form of paganism. Barna is not talking about things like praying to the saints. Instead he's literally arguing against anything that is 'institutional' including having a church building and a pastor who preaches sermons on Sunday. Many of Barna's arguments are just silly. The basic thesis is:

"The pagans did this type of stuff before Christians. Therefore, the church musto have copied it from the pagans".

(See the list below of the pagan elements that are in church, according to Barna).

Well Mr. Barna, we have terrible news for you. We hate to be the ones having to break this to you. But, we have research that proves that pagans were writing books long before Christians were writing books. Therefore, it is clear that books are pagan. Therefore, Christians shouldn't be reading books, including (and especially) your books.

Heavy Metal Monk

REUTERS - 62-year-old Italian Capuchin Friar Cesare Bonizzi is no ordinary heavy metal rocker.
Brother Cesare is better known among Italian heavy metal fans by his nom de rock, Fratello Metallo (Brother Metal). Describing himself as a "preacher-singer", "Brother Metal" has been singing for over a decade and has just released his 18th album.

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We're sure that 'Brother Metal' will be a big hit among Emergents and 'relevant church types' here in the U.S. because his 'message' is practically the exact same message as theirs.

A "Christian Testimony"

This "Christian" testimony comes complete with graphic examples which are used to highlight the Biblical teaching. (Warning: This is gross)

NRA Jesus

Of course if Jesus' Earthly ministry were happening in our modern day he'd be carrying an assault rifle. Duh.

Why?

Here we have a bronze sculpture of Lenin, Mickey Mouse and Jesus Christ. All we can ask is why?

Pregnant Woman Sees Jesus in Ultrasound

A pregnant woman from Lorain, Ohio may have some serious responsibilities on her hands in about three-and-a-half months after she noticed an image of Jesus Christ in her ultrasound.

"Christian" Paintball?

How do you "Christianize" Paintball? Isn't Paintball a form of a war game whereby you win by shooting your opponent? How do you "Christianize" that?

Align New Testament?

This is the Align Biblezine for Men. It is a complete copy of the New Testament along with some other 'helpful' articles about such topics as 'gadgets' and SEXcess.

Pelosi's Earth Day "Bible Passage"

Apparently, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is a graduate of the "Rick Warren / Joel Osteen School of Making Up Bible Passages".

In her April 22 Earth Day news release, Pelosi said,

"The Bible tells us in the Old Testament, 'To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us.' On this Earth Day, and every day, let us pledge to our children, and our children's children, that they will have clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, and the opportunity to experience the wonders of nature."

Ummm...where does the Bible say "To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us"?

Maybe this is the 'long lost' 11th commandment.

Perhaps she was reading from the book of Hezikiah or the new Green Peace Translation.

Or maybe she was lying and was banking on the fact that Biblically illiterate Americans wouldn't know the difference.

Regardless of how noble you think your cause may be, the fact is, no one (including the Speaker of the House) has the right to make up stuff and then attribute it to the Bible.

HT: Cybercast News Service

One Sorry Church

Is the church wrong and judgmental for claiming that abortion and homosexuality are sins and contending against them? Pastor Richard Mark Lee of the Family Church in Sugar Hill, Georgia thinks so. What did he do about it? He apologized to the unchurched for being judgmental during a highly publicized church service.

We think that Pastor Richard should also apologize on behalf of God for destroying the earth by flood because of men's wickedness, destroying Sodom and Gomorah, plaguing the Egyptians and killing their first born, destroying Korah and those who followed him, killing everyone in Jericho, and killing the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel for their false religion.

God on MY TERMS 2

If you refuse to go to church unless it meets in a bar, offers pizza, hotwings, rowdy fun, a show, and a SHORT message. Then you're in luck! Country Rock Church is for you. It is affiliated with Sidney First United Methodist (an extremely liberal denomination) but who cares what they believe and teach when you can have church IN A BAR. Here's what a local TV station said about it.

What we'd like to know is how pizza, hotwings, beer and a short message in a BAR makes this a 'real faith'? The Bible doesn't mention any of those things. Silly us, we thought a 'real faith' was one that trusts in Christ alone for salvation. We thought a 'real faith' was one whose center and substance is 'Jesus Christ crucified for sinners'. We have no Biblical idea how pizza and hot wings and beer play into a 'real faith'.

But why bother people with logical questions like that when people are fooling themselves into believing that they can have God on THEIR TERMS. Asking Biblical questions is only likely to ruin the illusion for some of these people And living a lie is much more fun than facing the truth.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil - John 3:19

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Will there be a Celebrate Recovery Meeting after the service?

Jesus Spotted at Florida Hospital

Orlando FL, - A crowd inside the Florida Hospital Medical Complex in Orlando snapped photos of the image apparently showing the profile of Jesus Christ crying.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

Rob Bell's Comments at Seeds of Compassion *** Updated***

***Update***
We've added more video and more context to some of the videos so that you can get a more complete picture of what Bell said and the context in which he made those comments.

Rob Bell shared the stage today with "his holiness" the Dalai Lama during an InterSpiritual panel discussion at the Seeds of Compassion conference.

Bell's defenders claimed that he would be a voice for Christianity at this event. But, right out of the box Bell's comments accomplished nothing more than blend with the ooooie goooie non-sensical one world spirituality that was being promoted at this event.

Here was Bell's opening remarks. Pay close attention to Bell's spiritual platitudes. Notice that he merely says that love, forgiveness and compassion are a 'better way'. It sounds nice. It sounds spiritual. But without Christ these thoughts have no meaning. There is nothing distinctly Christian about what Bell says.

In the next video Rob Bell answers the question that a twelve year old boy asked. Here was his question...

"What can I do to not be so hard on myself when I make a mistake?"

If Bell were giving a Christian answer then he should have mentioned the forgiveness of sins won by Jesus Christ on the cross. Here was Rob Bell's answer...

In this third video pay close attention to how Bell allegorizes death and resurrection so that it can fit neatly and inoffensively into the generic one-world spirituality being promoted at this event.

This final video gives more context regarding the 'spirituality' that was being promoted at this event.

Please watch the entire event video so that you can see these comments in their full context. You will find that this event taught that all religions have the same essence and a one world spirituality AND Rob Bell, by his presence and lack of saying anything that was distinctly Christian and because he didn't even mention Jesus Christ and His crucifixion for the sins of the world (the gospel) appeared to be in agreement with the other speakers.

Cheesus

Exorcist the Musical?

Here's an idea...take a famous horror movie about the devil and demon possession and turn it into a musical. It is sure to have some heads spinning.

Let Jesus Into Your Wii

Mission Bay Community Church in San Francisco, California (figures) is offering a Jesus Mii to anyone who attends their church and brings their Wii Remote with them.

What can you do with a Jesus Mii on your Nintendo Wii? Well, according to the church's website:

You can box with Jesus, golf with Him, or even bowl with Him! A night bowling with Jesus? What could be better? Especially if you get that turkey and best Him by 100 points! Don't worry;—He'll forgive you.

We've always wanted to golf and bowl with Jesus. Wow! Just think...Jesus can now be your new BFF.

Crucifixion? It Wasn't That Bad, Says British Professor

Apparently Jesus got off pretty easy and crucifixion isn't all that bad according to marxist professor Terry Eagleton. The Telegraph reports:

The Crucifixion of Christ "wasn't as bad as it's been painted", an outspoken Marxist academic will claim on the BBC this month.

Terry Eagleton, Professor of Cultural Theory at the University of Manchester, will say on Radio 4's Lent Talks that Jesus "got off pretty lightly" because it only took him three hours to die, The Daily Telegraph has learned.

He adds that Jesus's scourging was a "blessing in disguise" because it hastened his death. He also attacks modern Christianity for siding with the rich and abandoning the poor.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

Christoga?

Here's yet another attempt to combine Yoga and Christianity. It's called Christoga (oooh that's original...how long do you think it took to come up with that name). If you'd like to see a video demonstration of this syncretistic exercise form click here.

Recycle or Burn in Hell Warns Vatican

Who needs the Biblical 10 Commandments when we have the Catholic church inventing their own sin lists? According to one news source...

Failing to recycle plastic bags could find you spending eternity in Hell, the Vatican said after drawing up a list of seven deadly sins for our times.

The seven, which include polluting the environment, were announced by Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, a close ally of the Pope and the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, one of the Roman Curia's main court.

The "sins of yesteryear" - sloth, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, wrath and pride - have a "rather individualistic dimension", he told the Osservatore Romano, the official Vatican newspaper.

Click Here to Read the Rest of the Story

"Christian" Credit Card

Family Christian Stores are now offering credit cards. This way you can rack up a ton of debt so that you'll need to purchase all of the books they sell on getting out of debt. In other words they're selling both the disease and the cure.