The Museum of Idolatry

Painful to Watch, Relevance

In the never ending quest maintain relevance, the church is only spiraling down in to the abyss. This video, promoting small groups is a prime example.

Summer Growth Groups from EastLake Tri-Cities on Vimeo.

Anything Wrong With This Picture?

Does anything strike you as inappropriate in this advertisement? Anything come to mind? Anything?

If not then maybe this is the website where you can trade in your Lame Relationship for something a little more exciting. Who knows you might even find a gal that would be willing to give one of those 30 Day Sex Challenges a try.

Soul Wow!

Even Roman Catholics are trying their hand at being relevant.

Experience Easter in 3D!

Who needs to preach about Jesus and His Resurrection from the grave ON EASTER?! Not the folks North Point Church. No sir! They're preaching about the movie Slum Dog Millionaire. (in 3D)

Beer Babes & Baseball on Easter Sunday

Here's yet another Seeker Driven Church that has a more important message to preach on Easter Sunday than the death and resurrection of Our Lord and Savior for the sins of the world.

Here is their "Easter" postcard mailing. How would you like it if your 9 year old daughter picked this up and you had to explain that this was from 'a church'?

We Hate Church - Church Billboard Campaign

OKLAHOMA CITY - Drivers on NW Expressway near Wilshire were shocked and confused by this new roadside message.

An attention grabber it is, but we wanted to know what's behind the billboard. One Metro driver said, "I wouldn't put something like that up. I don't understand it." Another said, "It's appalling someone would put up a sign like that!".

They were also surprised to learn a church was behind a billboard that said "We hate church... as usual." The Cathedral Church in Oklahoma City says they're glad folks are taking notice as they try to challenge the mindset of a new generation of churchgoers. Bishop Tony Miller said, "I know there's a shock factor especially to religious people & some may think we were being offensive. Our desire isn't to offend anybody, but to do what it did - to say what it is about church that upset or offends you." Bishop Tony Miller says he said it in a sermon and the church marketing department devised a plan to get peoples' attention... And ultimately get them in church doors to change their minds.

Miller said, "We'll take the risk in order to awaken people to the toughts of something different is possible. It's not about a building, a Sunday morning. It's about people encountering the heart of God." Bishop Miller says they posted the billboard yesterday and that they plan on continuing their campaign with future messages. The Cathedral Church is a charismatic non-denominational church founded in 1982. (Online Source)

Pastor In A Box Easter Marketing Stunt

Let the Easter circus stunts begin! Calvary Church in Irving Texas is promising to put their pastor in a six foot, clear plastic box on top of the church for four days if 4,000 people show up for Easter weekend. The potentially boxed pastor, Ben Dailey, says:

This might be cheesy, but what can I say? I am passionate about the church getting out and being the church, not just within our walls, but outside of them as well. It’s time for the church to get out of the box and let our world know that we serve a great God and have fun doing it.

Maybe Jesus' crucifixion was really just an Easter marketing stunt gone bad.

Another Shot at Shot Glass Evangelism

Here's another monkey see monkey do church with a passion for the lost and zero discernment. Watch the whole news story and see if you can spot the problems.

Shot Glass Outreach and Its Rationale

Wow! Just Wow!

The best part of this video is right around the 2:07 mark when the pastor at Next Level Church talks about dancing Zebras.

Is Church Whack?

Can someone please translate this sign for us? We don't speak this language.

Pigskin Church

Does your man prefer watching football on Sundays rather than going to church? Well, now there's a church that combines football and church.

Hebrews Coffee

"Relevant" Pastor For Sale on eBay - Cheap!

So-Called "relevant pastors" are a dime a dozen now-a-days. The church market has been flooded by life coaches claiming to be 'out of the box' pastors. Things are so bad that you can now purchase relevant pastors on eBay for really cheap.

In fact, one of these relevant pastors put himself and his entire family for sale on eBay and they sold for only $3,383.33.

Pretty soon you won't even be able to give away one of these 'relevant' pastors.

Sex, Money and Power Will Fill Those Empty Seats ** Updated **

Here is a copy of the Easter marketing piece that Perry Noble and New Spring Church sent out this year.

These sermons sure sound like they'd be relevant but couldn't people get this information from Oprah or Dr. Phil? Why is a church preaching about such topics? Shouldn't this church and others be preaching the scriptures and focusing on Christ and His Cross?

We hope that the women at New Spring stayed home during this series. It was clearly not for them.

** Update ** we've learned from one of the assistant pastors at New Spring that the church paid extra to have these postcards 'debossed' so that people could 'feel the fishnet stockings on the woman's legs featured on the postcard'. (just let that thought sink in)

Click on the photos to enlarge them.

X Rated Site or Church Series?

How controversial are all these Sex Sermons that all these seeker-sensitive churches are doing?

Well that all depends on how you look at it.

Did you know that the churches that are doing these Sex Sermons are also the ones manufacturing the controversy?

It's true. Here is how the chain of events works.

1. Seeker-Sensitive Church decides to use Sex Series to fill empty seats or accelerate growth.

2. Seeker-Sensitive Church picks racy and controversial name for their Sex Series along with racy and controversial sermon titles for each sermon in the series.

3. Seeker-Sensitive Church puts up racy and controversial website for their Sex Series and takes out racy and controversial billboard advertising announcing their racy and controversial Sex Series.

4. Seeker-Sensitive Church simultaneously sends out a press release to the media that talks about 'the controversy' surrounding their racy and controversial Sex Series. (this is controversy that they are creating)

In other words, from beginning to end, Seeker-Sensitive Churches manipulate people and manufacture "controversy" in order to make themselves look brave, bold and counter cultural while making their opponents look prissy and legalistic. All of this is done in order to fill seats.

Here's a great example from Flip Side Church.

Click Here to read the press release that Flipside Church wrote up regarding their Sex sermon series. This story was NOT written by Fox News it was written by Flipside Church. Flipside Church wrote every word of this press release including the headline.

Please note: This press release was purposely written to create controversy. Flipside Church was being provocative and controversial ON PURPOSE so that they could get free media coverage and use the controversy that they generated about their sex series to fill their empty seats.

It's all a big marketing scam.

The Moment of Truth?!

Real Life Fellowship in Corpus Christi, Texas has decided to capitalize on the frenzy surrounding Fox's new shock game show "The Moment of Truth". This is the show where contestants are hooked up to a lie detector and ask the types of questions that can potentially ruin lives, reputations and marriages in exchange for money. Here is a link to a video clip from the show where a woman chooses to destroy her marriage FOR MONEY.

Connecting the Church of Jesus Christ with this show for marketing purposes and filling empty seats is simply indefensible.

Come to Church and Get Gas?

Pleeeeeease come to our church...pretty pleeeeeeease. If you come we'll give you a $10 gas card. That will buy you two and a half gallons of gas. Pleeeeeeeease come to our church.

Seriously, if we were unchurched people living in Owasso we'd hold out until they up'd the ante a bit. Other churches are giving away flat screen T.V.'s and custom built motorcycles. Why should unbelievers "sell out" and "sell themselves short" for a MEASLY gas card? They should "hold out' until this church starts giving away some real merchandise. Unbelievers should write this church and let them know they don't need a gas card they need new cars and better televisions sets. Maybe they need their ride pimped out or need their kitchens remodeled. Come on Owasso First Assembly get serious! If you want to fill seats then you're going to need to cough up the bling. A $10 gas card just ain't relevant enough.

Urinal Evangelism?

Looking for a cutting edge way to market your church? Here's an idea...print your church's name and phone number on urinal screens and then place them in public restrooms around your town. According to the servantevangelism.com this is "pretty close to the first century equivalent of washing feet".

HT: Tony Jones

Ciiiiiiiiiiiiity Church!

This church can hook you up phat.

In all seriousness this is some craziest marketing that we've seen for a church (and we've seen it all).

This is from the same church that brought you the 'Leave Britney Alone' marketing video.

God Love Sex

Why is it that these churches think that when they do a sermon series on sex that they have to take out billboard advertising and announce it to the whole world? Do they really think a sex series is an evangelistic tool? Its as if 'Sex Sermons' have become the post-modern equivalent of an "Evangelism Sunday".

Reading between the lines, what this billboard is really saying is "come to church and 'get some'".

Lame Church

We thought the seeker-sensitive movement was all about diversity of worship styles and methods. But, this church has literally sent out a marketing piece that tears down other churches and calls their worship styles lame and boring while claiming to be the opposite of 'lame'. Well, we think it is lame of them to be so conceited and demeaning to the other churches in their community.

The real fact is that it doesn't matter how exciting your worship services are if the pastor is preaching pop-psych and self-help rather than preaching the Gospel to ALL the sinners in church (both believers and unbelievers) every single sunday.

Fun at Church

Now there's a reason to go to church.

Really Bad Easter Marketing Piece

We'll just chalk this one up to really tacky church marketing.

Another method that we think would be effective at filling those empty seats at your church would be to weave a circus side-show into your Easter Sunday 'worship experience'. Firing midgets out of a canon immediately before the sermon would also draw a crowd. For the background music you could start with a rousing rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus and transition into the finale for the 1812 Overture. Each canon shot could then send a midget in an angel costume sailing over the congregation. Imagine the marketing potential!!

Come to Church and Win an OCC Chopper

Come Hear About Jesus and Win a Flat Screen T.V.

Jesus gave away free bread and fish so maybe we should give away flat screen TVs.

Notice that the speaker is billed as "one of the great Christian millionaire businessmen of our day". So people didn't show up to hear about Jesus. They showed up to hear about making money and to win a TV.

Naked Church?

Naked Church? Those are two words that we wouldn't normally put together, nor is this something we really want to see. Okay, Shawn Lovejoy of Mountain Lake Church in Cumming, GA is not really advocating coming to church without your fig leaves. This is just another example of how the new breed of pastors uses shock marketing and innuendo to draw a crowd. Whatever happened to holiness?

HT: Old Truth

Extreme Grandparenting?

There is nothing heretical about this book that we know of. We've put it in our museum because we think there is NO WAY that grandpa can get that much air on that bike. Can you say hip replacement surgery?

Hollywood Be Thy Name

The pastor at Uprising Church in Nashville, Tennessee has learned that preaching sermons about the 'spiritual' lessons found in the movies is soooooooo much easier and more 'relevant' than preaching from the Bible.

1. You don't have to know any Biblical languages in order to exegete a movie.

2. You don't have to go to seminary to learn how to exegete a movie.

3. You can 'make up' ANY moral lesson you like from ANY movie. Just use the words "I feel that this movie is saying" before you make your point and no one will challenge what you're saying because 'feelings' are sacred. Just be sure to sprinkle your sermon with some Biblical passages and it will magically become a 'Christian' sermon.

4. The unbelieving world is more likely to show up to a church that preaches about movies instead of the Bible. Using movie preaching is a clever way to draw unbelievers to church.

5. You can eat popcorn while listening to a sermon about a movie. It just isn't as fun if you try that while listening to a sermon on a Bible passage.

Get Your Glory Groove On

Does Satan Really Hate Victory Family Church?

Victory Family Church in Decatur, Texas has a new billboard campaign that features the Prince of Darkness saying, "I hate Victory Family Church".

After recovering from the obvious repugnance of using Lucifer to promote your church, even if it is 'reverse psychology', we decided to peruse their website to see if the offense of Jesus Christ and Him Crucified for Sinners was the front and center message that this church is proclaiming. Why? Because we know from scripture that the message of the cross is the the one that REALLY burns the Devil.

Let's see how offensive Victory Family Church would be to demonic forces.

The Good

• Their building has a cross on it. That is a good start. But, remember the devil is always in the details. We need to ask some very important questions.

What are they teaching about the cross?

What do they say that Christ accomplished on it?

Are they even preaching about the cross at all? After all it is one thing to have a cross on your building it is another to actually preach about it.

• They have an orthodox statement of faith. This is also good. But, are they preaching the doctrine they've posted or is that document collecting dust because of dis-use? It is one thing to have a sound doctrinal statement it is another to preach and teach those doctrines.

The Bad

• Red Flag - The church's slogan is 'Putting Victory in Your Family'. Hmmmm...this is not a Biblical theme.

• Major Red Flag - The church has a NEW vision statement prominently featured on their home page. It says some very disturbing things:

1. God designed a plan of victorious living for each Christian. It is our mission to help you find God's perfect plan.

2. At Victory, we believe in helping you achieve a dream family.

3. God intended for believers to have a place where they could fellowship and learn to overcome life's challenges. Christians aren't supposed to live a defeated, miserable life! God has so much more in store for you.

Woah! Victory's vision statement contradicts the Biblical 'vision statement' laid out by the founder of the Church, Jesus Christ.

Jesus told the church to go and make disciples. Victory Church is making 'dream families'.

Scripture tells Pastors to Preach the Word. Victory's Pastor teaches people how to 'overcome life's challenges'.

Scripture says that Christians will be persecuted. Victory says that 'Christians aren't supposed to live a defeated, miserable life.'

The UGLY

Scripture says to preach Christ and Him Crucified. Victory preaches man-centered sermons. Here is the list of the last few published sermons from Victory Family Church.

"Living On Purpose"
"The Power to Get Wealth Part 4"
"The Power to Get Wealth Part 3"
"The Power to Get Wealth Part 2"
"The Power to Get Wealth Part 1"
"The Authority of the Believer"

Conclusion

Victory Family Church has wandered off into Seeker-Sensitive La-La Land. They don't preach and teach sound doctrine, or Jesus Christ Crucified for Sinners. They exist to make 'dream families' instead of disciples grounded in the words of scripture and sound doctrine. They preach about man instead of Christ.

Victory Family Church should be sued for false advertising!

Satan doesn't hate their church. He loves it!

Jesus Miracle Tour Tees

Marketers of the latest Je$u$ Junk have learned a few tricks from secular marketers. Here we have a perfect example of that old marketing adage 'Sex Sells' from the folks selling the Jesus Miracle Tour Tees. Notice the puckered lips on this lovely 'Christian' model.

We bet you boys can't wait to ummm...buy what she's selling. (We mean the T-Shirt of course)

Washing Sins Away and Making a Buck

The folks over at Blue Q have come up with a sacrilegious way of making a quick buck. They are marketing a line of products called "Wash Your Sins Away".

Jr. High Ministry Teaches Youth How to Have ‘Best Sex Ever’

This screen shot speaks for itself.

This is from the website for the Youth Ministry at Landmark Church in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Would you send your 12 or 13 year old daughter to this youth group knowing this was what they were teaching?

April 2007 False Advertising Award for Ancient Biblical Stress Relief

Do you have stress?

If you do then drugstore.com has all kinds of products than can help you. Here are some examples.

Stress Relief Pills.

Stress Relief Tea

Stress Relief Spray

These all seem pretty standard. But, have you ever thought that Christianity or Jesus could be the answer to all your stress? If not, then don't worry (that was a pun) Rick Warren is now marketing the Christian faith and Biblical truths as 'ancient secrets for a less stressed, more relaxed and lighter, freer lifestyle. Here is the marketing piece that Saddleback sent out for this particular sermon.

We were so impressed by this brazen form of false advertising that we couldn't help but give Pastor Warren our April 2007 False Advertising Award.

If Christianity is supposed to be about stress relief, then we think those Christians who have suffered persecution for their faith around the globe and for the last 2000 years should sue Saddleback church and get their tithe money back.

Maybe Pastor Warren has forgotten the words of Jesus.

Matthew 10:34   "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."

John 15:20 Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.

The Apostle Paul should also sue Saddleback church. Here is what he experienced as a Christian.

2 Corinthians 11:23 ...with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. 24 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.

Perhaps Paul was doing something wrong. Why did Paul go through all this stress and trouble when all he had to do was apply the ancient secrets of Biblical stress relief? If we are to take Rick Warren seriously then we must conclude that Paul truly didn't understand what the Christian faith was all about. Otherwise Paul would have had far less stress in his life. Therefore, we should read 2 Corinthians 11:23-28 as a warning to us about what happens to people who don't properly apply the principles of Biblical stress relief.

Or maybe, just maybe Rick Warren's marketing of the gospel is way off! Perhaps Warren isn't telling people the truth about the cost of discipleship. Maybe Warren is sugar coating Christianity and teaching a different gospel.

Either way teaching people that the Christian faith is about relieving stress contradicts scripture and is false advertising and it deserves a mention in our museum of idolatry.

Who Needs Viagra When You Can Have Jesus?

Here's a church that has discovered that people don't want to hear about sin, hell and salvation. They want to hear about SEX.

Yes sir, come to our church and your sex life will be better than you could ever imagine.

Yep, Jesus is now better than any 'sex aide' that you could buy on the internet. This is the ultimate in seeker sensitive messages and marketing.

We'd like to thank Next Level Church in Fort Myers Florida and their website mycrappysexlife.com for teaching us such a new and relevant way to enlarge our churches. I wonder if they hand out cigarettes after the sermon?

Satan's Sex Ed

Oh the things done in the name of marketing the church.

I'd like to know who the person was who asked themselves WWJD and then came up with this video.