The Museum of Idolatry

Hello Kitty Crucifix?

Did Hello Kitty die on the cross for your sins?

Christianized Tai Chi

Do you want to do Tai Chi with your pagan friends but feel guilty because you fear that it may have eastern religious meanings attached to it? Don't worry, resourceful Christians who have the spiritual gift of plagiarism have created a cheap Christianized knock off of Tai Chi that you can enjoy called Slo Flo. For a nominal fee praise offering you can purchase Slo Flo books and instructional videos and in no time you'll be silently praising the Lord while looking like you're doing real Tai Chi.

Body Gospel?!?

Jeeeezus can now save you from flab, fat and a big butt. *facepalm*

"Do It Yourself" Religion?

Since, when did Christianity become a "do it yourself" religion? Are you worried you won't be able to do what God requires. Don't worry, apparently the Holy Spirit is hovering around just waiting to assist you. (BTW, this is NOT what the Bible teaches. Christianity is not a do it yourself religion. It's all been done FOR you by Jesus Christ.)

"Christian" BBQ Grill Clock?

This fine piece of metallic craftsmanship is not only the perfect Father's Day gift for your Christian Dad. But, it is also a witnessing tool. Yep, hidden somewhere on this grill is Ecclesiastes 10:19. Just imagine how many times you'll get to share your faith as a result of this clever "Christian" gift.

Son Bucks?

Seriously?!

Stock Car Racing Edition Bible?!?!

Yep, it's real alright!

Rumor has it that this Bible also comes with a few coupons. One of them is for 50% off of your next tune up at Jiffy Lube. Another coupon is a "buy one get one free" for Slim Jims and the last coupon is good for a free sample of Skoal. We haven't confirmed that rumor yet.

Fruit of the Spirit "Health Drink" for Your Soul????

This is NOT what the apostle Paul had in mind when he was discussing the fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT in Galatians 5:16-24.

The Healing Power of Jesus?!?

According to the charlatans selling this blasphemy:

COMBINES THE MOST POWERFUL FORCES OF HEAVEN AND EARTH - Do you believe? Wear this solid COPPER MAGNETIC THERAPY JESUS BRACELET for the most powerful healing and comfort you’ve ever experienced! COPPER has been relied on for centuries to ease the pain of arthritis.

"Christian" Inflatable Football Cooler

The site selling this bizarre piece of Jesus Junk asks, "Have you ever seen a cooler like this? Probably not. This one-of-a-kind cooler includes a pump and, best of all, this awesome thought: “Win or lose, always give thanks to the Lord.” Now, just add the drinks and the ice, and you’re ready to go!"

Ichabod!!

"Christian" Football Popcorn Bowl??

Just in time for the Big Game...it's the "Christian" Football Popcorn Bowl!!! You'll never eat pagan popcorn again.

This amazing "Christian" popcorn bowl feeds both soul and body because it prominently features Philippians 4:13 to remind you that the Lord is the source of strength. ( ugh :-{ )

Let Your Feet Do the Witnessing??

According to one web store that sells these: "These amazing shoes allow you to speak the word even in silence. Carry the spirit of God with you all the time with these awesome accessories."

Call us skeptical but we think that these shoes are all about making money and are completely ineffective and sharing the Christian faith.

If you are a Christian today because of someone wearing these shoes, please email us.

Jesus is My Subcontractor?

Do we really need to explain why this wrong?

If you think the One True God who is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Alpha and the Omega, and the Beginning is and the End is your SUBcontractor, then you've got the wrong Jesus.

ChurchGurl?!?

Sassy, Savvy, Saved is the slogan for the website for ChurchGurl's 'christian products' for women. We think they forgot one "S" word.....Slutty.

Christian Flip Flops?!?

How did Christianity survive for almost 2,000 years without Walk the Walk "Christian" Flip Flops?

Now that these flip flops are on the market we expect to a huge rise in Christian growth.  In fact, we're certain that the devil hates these flip flops so much that he skulks away in fear and disgust when he sees someone wearing these.

Jesus is My Boyfriend?!?!

This photo is creepy on a few levels.

For starters, thinking of Jesus as your 'boyfriend' is not what it means to have a "personal relationship with Jesus".

Secondly, the person modeling this sweatshirt is a DUDE!!

Jesus Our New BFF

Signs of the Times?

End Times Survivalist Bible Cover

Have your end times calculations determined that tribulation is right around the corner? If so then you need the End Times Survivalist Bible Cover. This rugged and sturdy Bible cover will protect your Bible even under the harshest of end times scenarios. Made from olive drab rapture ready material, this cover also includes an analog gps device (compass).

Football Fans Finally Have Their Own Bible

Finally there is a Bible designed specifically to reach football fans. We were worried that the millions of NFL fanatics out there were going to hell because no one had taken the time to give them a Bible that they could relate with. Everyone knows that football fans only have a one track mind and cannot be reached or communicated with unless someone translates the message into 'Pigskin' (that is the native tongue of football fans)

As Seen on TV Prayer Cross

Our Prayer is that the extreme downturn in the global economy will cause Christians to reevaluate their spending priorities. Rather than buying the latest glitzy piece of Jesus Junk with the newest and niftiest miracle gimmick that Christians would instead repent of their decadence and use their resources to help their neighbors who are in financial need and distress.

Jesus Rocks Air Freshener

Nothing smells better than Jesus rockin out to his favorite metal tunes.

Kitschmas: Eskimo Nativity

This explains why white Christmases are so important.

Kitschmas: The "What Were They Thinking" Nativity

This nativity has some historical merit. But, what's with the giant frog wearing a neck tie and father Christmas? Were they present at Jesus' birth? Were the creators of this nativity under the influence of a mind altering substance when they put this together?

What's next...Jesus in the sky with diamonds?

Pick Jesus?

Is Jesus now a nose or a guitar?

Kitschmas: Safari Nativity

This one has us scratching our heads. Apparently the Virgin Elephant gave birth to the Hippo Savior. The theological implications of a cross species animal incarnation are beyond our ability to comprehend.

Oh and we'd also like to know where the Flying Monkey originated from?

Kitschmas: Frog Nativity

Frog lovers the world over will be jumping for joy when they see this depiction of the birth of the King of Kings.

Kitschmas: Luck of the Irish Nativity

We thought Jesus was Jewish. Apparently, he was Irish.

That third 'wise man' looks like a tall leprechaun bearing a pot of gold.

Kitschmas: Chicken Nativity

This nativity is fowl.

A Christian LED Flashlight

With short winter days cutting daylight to a minimum, no discerning Christian should be without a Christian LED Flashlight. Just like the light of Christ, this Christian Flashlight shines into the darkness and since it uses LED lighting rather than standard bulbs your conscience can rest easy knowing that your making a contribution towards the keeping the planet green.

Once you use this Christian LED Flahslight you'll never use a pagan flashlight again.

Kitschmas: Cowbow Nativity

If the Native American Nativity is not your favorite then maybe you should try the Cowboy nativity instead.

Pigskin Bible Cover

Sometimes a Bible cover reveals what is most important in a person's life. We think this Bible cover does just that.

Kitschmas: Hair Raising Nativity

Here's a news story about a nativity made of human hair. We are left asking the obvious question...WHY!?!

Fruit of the Spirit Glass Cutting Board?

Kitschmas: Native American Nativity

Tis that special time of the year again. A time for picking the Jesus that best suits your fancy. If the historical Jesus just isn't doing it for you anymore, don't worry there are plenty of customized Jesuses available for you to choose from.

Here is a nativity for those who enjoy native American artwork. This nativity would complement any home with a southwestern decor.

Every time you view this nativity you can imagine Jesus growing up and becoming a shaman medicine man.

Daily Bread Basket

The Bible warns us that a little leaven, leavens the whole loaf. Therefore, Christians must take steps to insure that their daily loaf of bread is not tainted with the yeast of pagan and worldly bread baskets.

Thankfully, this "Christian" bread basket is now available for vigilant Christians to purchase. This holy and sactified bread basket features a powerful Bible verse taken from the Lord's Prayer boldly embroidered on its side. The sanctifying effects of this verse will turn any pagan loaf of bread into Manna from Heaven.

HT: Paul and Jess Hoover

Disciple Shades?

Here is yet another example of a shameless piece of Jesus junk. Trust us when we tell you that buying and wearing these shades will not cause you to grow deeper in your discipleship nor will it really help you be a witness for Christ.

Our prayer is that the current economic collapse will cause companies like this to go out of business.

HT: DefCon

Tribulation Survival Tool

This "Christian" multi-tool, complete with scripture verse, can help you survive the Tribulation even if you've been left behind.

Christian Hacky Sack

This is for when you're kickin' it with your homeboy Jesus.

Ezekiel 4:9 Food Products?

Inspired by the Holy Scripture verse Ezekiel 4:9., "Take also unto thee Wheat, and Barley, and beans, and lentils, and millet, and Spelt, and put them in one vessel, and make bread of it..."

This is Jesus Junk you can taste.

Jesus Night Light

Jesus may be the light of the world but He's also handy enough to light up a bathroom.

Watch You Jesus Watch

Gospel Shoes???

Apparently the shoes featured below from the Gospel Shoe website are supposed to share the gospel. But they don't use any words to do so, they only use colors.

This takes Jesus Junk to a whole new low.

"Christianized" Bratz Doll

Here's the blurb from the catalog pushing this doll:

"Tired of dolls with a worldly appearance? You'll welcome these "mom-approved" dolls with a perfect fit of faith and fashion! Whether your girls play with nature-loving Hannah, musical Abigail, or worshipful Sarah, they'll love the stylishly modest outfits featuring faith-affirming T-shirts. And you'll rejoice in the biblical message each posable doll communicates. Ages 4 and up."

This doll doesn't exactly look 'stylishly modest' to us. AND what exactly is 'faith affirming' about the word 'princess'?

1 Million T-Shirts for Jesus?

Here's a very clever marketing ploy. Want to make a truck load of money selling Jesus Junk? Here's what you do. Set up a website that claims that it wants to sell 1 million T-Shirts for Jesus. Offer to give back 10% of your proceeds to those languishing in poverty in third-world nations. Then sit back and watch while Christians buy up your t-shirts.

Follow Mii Coffee Mug

The Jesus Mii from the Wii makes another appearance.

Jr. High Jesus T-Shirt

When the pagan you are trying to convert has the mental capicity of Jr. High School child, try witnessing using this t-shirt.

A "Christian" Golf Thing-A-Ma-Bobb

Every "Christian" golfer needs one of these. Imagine how many pagan golfers you can save by marking your ball with the sign of the cross. Imagine how pagan golfers will repent of their sins after they observe you checking the time on this "Christian" golf watch.

Once this thing-a-ma-bobb gets on every Christian's golf bag it is only a matter of time before golf will be considered a purely Christian activity.

Beauty Secrets of the Bible??

Apparently the Bible is chock full of beauty secrets. We had no idea.

Jesus Reigns Golf Umbrella

This is soooo clever. Get it ... Jesus "reigns" sounds like rains.