The Museum of Idolatry

"Lord Spice" Body Wash

Once again, a Christian Church in an effort to appear relevant attepted to surf the latest pop culture wave and just end up looking stupid (at least the pastor didn't take his shirt off.)

Rap Relevancy FAIL

Another Relevancy Fail

Someone needs to send an email to the folks at Liberty Church and let them know that Nsync ain't relevant no more.

Christ Christ Baby?

Cause Christians look sooooooo relevant whenever they badly "Christianize" once popular rap songs.

Relevancy Fail!

Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam?

This is the latest artifact to be inducted into our Graveyard of Relevance. In this video, bad theology and frightening irrelevance unite for this 58 second nightmare that may in fact inflict brain damage on those who watch.

"Christian" Version of "Lean Like a Cholo"

Here we go again. Some 'clever' youth pastor has found a way to appear relevant. What could be more relevant than 'christianizing' that midlevel radio hit 'Lean Like a Cholo'?

This one is going straight to the Graveyard of Relevance. Sheeesh!

Exciting and Inspiring?

Exciting and Inspiring are not the words that we'd use to describe this latest inductee to the Graveyard of Relevance.

Let Me Touch Him?

Here is the latest inductee to the Graveyard of Relevance. We prefer not to comment on this one.

Jesus is a Friend of Mine

Here is the latest inductee to the Graveyard of Relevance.

This is a perfect example of how stupid the stuff Christians are doing today in the name of relevance will look 20 years from now.

Relevance is a fickle lover. She’ll make you feel like a king one day and yesterday’s garbage the next.

30 Day Sex Challenge is Not Relevant Enough

Pastor Life Coach Paul Wirth of Relevant Church, the man who made national headlines because of his 30 Day Sex Challenge, has just released his sex challenge in book form.

Apparently, Pastor Life Coach Wirth hasn't done his homework. 30 Days of sex is no longer considered relevant by the culture's standards. In fact, 30 days is a drop in the bucket compared to the latest, greatest and most relevant books on sex and intimacy. One of these books is entitled "Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!)" and the other is called 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy. (It is also important to note that neither of these 'new' books require you to read Bible verses before you take your clothes off. All you need is a willing partner.)

It looks like Relevant Church had better go back to the drawing board. 30 Days of sex is now considered passe, boring and irrelevant. It may be a good start for beginners and wimps but the real aficionados of intimacy have something much better to offer us.

We predict that some enterprising and relevant Pastor Life Coach at some Seeker-Sensitive Church Self-Help Center will figure this out and will soon release their 365 Day Sex Challenge. Afterall, we have to give seekers what they want and meet their felt needs.

HT: Slice of Laodicea

Country Church

Here is our latest inductee to the Graveyard of Relevance. We think that Country Church used to meet on the set of the Green Acres T.V. show.

Once again this proves that relevance is a fickle mistress. One day she makes you look like you're on top of the world the next day she makes you look like last week's leftovers.

Rapture Watch 2007

Oooops...guess they messed up on the year. That's okay. If they keep up dating the shirt, one of these years Christ will return and they'll look like prophets. In the meantime, they may want to quietly take this off the market and use the overstock for dust rags.

Lost "Witness Wear" Joins Graveyard of Relevance

The word on the street is that the T.V. show Lost has jumped the shark. We understand that there are some diehard fans of the show out there who would disagree with that statement. But, one thing is certain, Lost is not the 'must see' show that it used to be. That being said, any Christian who is trying to be relevant to the world with the t-shirt featured below may as well be wearing a Welcome Back Kotter witness wear t-shirt. Relevance is oh soooo fickle.

Jesus is My Final Answer

This little piece of 'witness wear' is being added to our Graveyard of Relevance because the show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" is no longer the "must see" TV show in America. Is it even still on the air?

Somebody wearing a t-shirt with this message on it will now look as out of touch as someone wearing an Avocado Green Leisure Suit. That is what happens when you tie Christian messages to passing cultural phenomena.

Extreme Grandparenting?

There is nothing heretical about this book that we know of. We've put it in our museum because we think there is NO WAY that grandpa can get that much air on that bike. Can you say hip replacement surgery?

The Singing Priest?

When Aerobics and Praise Collide

This has to be one of the most frightening and ridiculous things that we have ever seen.

Do you feel your praise comin' on?

His praise is so funky.

HT: Reformation Nation

Utterly Irrelevant!

The Reverend Doctor Wise was into Rappin' so he thought he'd put an album out to share the faith in a relevant way. But there were several major problems with the Reverend Doctor Wise's approach to relevance.

Maybe in The Reverend Doctor Wise's day rappers attended lawn parties and played crochet on sunday afternoons but things have certainly changed since this album came out.

Today, rappers are not doctors. Rappers prefer to pass themselves off as thugs. Furthermore, rappers today don't wear ties. Who ever heard of a rapper in a suit? Rappers are ganstas and they cannot represent in a suit.

Rappers today would take one look at this album cover and say "I Ain't Into That".

The graveyard of relevance claims another victim.

Watch Out... It's The God Squad

It's Irrelevant

PLAIN Truth

Yep. PLAIN is the operative word here.

Who is this Bible Being Marketed To?

We have no idea who this Bible is being marketed to. It is called the Light Speed Bible. We don't know if that means it reads 'quickly' or if it means that it would be appealing to rocket scientists or maybe Buzz Lightyear or the Jedi Order. We really are at a loss on this one.

Sometimes folks try so hard to be relevant that they shoot right past it and land themselves in the graveyard of irrelevance.

God's Brady Bunch?

Why is it that when the secular media has a hit show that some Christians think they can have a relevant ministry if they just rip-off the idea and 'christianize it'?

Will God's Brady Bunch being doing a reunion tour anytime soon? Not on your life! They don't even have a fan site on the internet.

Creeeeeeepy

Visions of Heaven?

Here is the latest inductee into our Graveyard of Relevance. The name of the Gill Family's album is "Visions of Heaven".

Apparently their vision of heaven is a cross between Liberace and Pepto Bismol.

Darn, if only that look had stayed relevant longer, imagine where their ministry would be today.

No Comment

It is best if we keep our comments to ourselves on this one.

Purpose Driven Predecessor?

While looking through the candidates for our Graveyard of Relevance we came across this vinyl LP. It claims to be able to teach you how to be a successful church leader using a brand new method of effective training for busy church leaders in a busy world.

Is this album the true source of Rick Warren's ideas for the book the Purpose Driven Church?

Rob Bell Becoming Irrelevant?

Ut Oh! Are Zondervan 'golden boy' Rob Bell and his Nooma videos doomed to become residents in our Graveyard of Relevance?

This video spoof entitled "Rob Bell - Oil" may represent the first visible cracks in Bell's 'relevant facade'.

Beware the siren song of Relevance.
Many a minister has found his ministry
shipwrecked upon her craggy rocks.
They pursued the fleeting love
of this deceitful beauty
only to be left for dead.
Beware. Beware.

Christian Karaoke? LOL!

Heavenly Karoake isn't out yet but its days are already numbered. Karaoke is not only a passing fad but how hard could it be to sing along with today's 7/11 praise songs (7 words sung 11 times). This game will be so easy that many people will mistake it for Karaoke for pre-schoolers or Karaoke for people who get confused by sentences longer than 3 words.

We predict that this game will be in the 99¢ bin and in our Graveyard of Relevance before the end of the year.

More Fodder for the Graveyard of Relevance

Relevance is such a fickle bride. One day you're the king of the world. The next day you're thrown into the 99¢ bin.

Relevance will take the best years of your life and then discard you like yesterday's trash.

Stryper Officially Declared Irrelevant

Irrelevancy has claimed yet another ministry. The 80's Christian heavy metal band Stryper, known for their big hair, and black and yellow spandex costumes has become the latest group to join the Graveyard of Relevance.

Fans of Stryper are reportedly saddened by the news. But, one fan speaking off the record told us:

"I knew this day was coming. The other day I was going through my old vinyl albums and pulled out my copy of "Yellow and Black Attack". My 17 year-old son took one look at the picture of the band and started laughing hysterically. When he was finally able to compose himself he said they looked like they were angry Africanized bees. So I lied to my son and said that I never really liked them. It's just not fair that a christian ministry that was so cool and cutting edge one day now looks like a bunch of clowns."

We couldn't agree more. Relevance is a cruel mistress.

Praise Moves Joins the Graveyard of Relevance

Have you ever noticed that the Evangelical Sub-Culture never comes up with their 'own things'. Instead, they always hijack what the world is doing and try to 'christianise' it. There is nothing counter culture about what they do.

Here is fine example of what we're talking about. The DVD's below offers us "The Christian Alternative to Yoga". Why? Because the world is currently in love with Yoga and Christians are crying, "We want to hip and relevant and do Yoga too." But, there is this 'small' problem. Yoga isn't just about rolling around on the floor and excercising, it is also about Eastern Meditation and an Eastern World-View.

No problem. We'll just make our own version of Yoga without the Eastern stuff and re-name it "Praise Moves". Then we can be just as relevant as the world around us.

Rather than contorting our bodies into postures with names like the "Sacred Camel", "The Warrior", "The Cobra" and "The Tree", we'll bend our bodies into the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. (ooooh I can't wait to learn how to bend my body into a "Tsadhe")

The sad part about all of this is that the Yoga fad is already passing. This leaves the Praise Moves people looking like a bunch of irrelevant and silly wanna be's.

Graveyard of Relevance

Ahhh Relevance. She is such a fair and beautiful maiden today. But by tomorrow, she will have turned into a dried up prune and a hag-like ogre of irrelevance.

For those of you who think that relevance is the concept you want to marry your ministry to rather than the timeless message of the Biblical gospel, we offer you these juicy examples of relevance from days gone by.