Emergent rocks star, and leader of the Mars Hill Cohort in Grand Rapids, Michigan has weighed in on the issue of nuclear weapons.
"Nuclear weapons are a direct affront to God's dream of shalom for the world. Life is beautiful, and nuclear weapons are ugly."
The Pentagon responded to Bell's statement by conducting a focus group and inviting a group of post-modern poets, artists and fiction writers to give their input for making the U.S. nuclear arsenal more beautiful and shalom-like. The solution that the Pentagon has decided to implement as a result of this focus group is the repainting of all of the United States' nuclear missiles from white and camouflage to hot pink, in honor of Rob Bell's book Sex God. The military will also emblazon the word "Shalom" along the sides of each missile in big blue friendly letters.
Said one Pentagon spokesman, "The last thing the United States Military wants to do is be an obstruction to God's dream of shalom for the world."