Saddleback Church Purchases Disneyland for Undisclosed Sum

The latest salvo in the Mega-Church wars has just been unleashed with Saddleback Church's purchase of the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California. Saddleback insiders have informed us that the purchase was prompted by Rick Warren's sagging numbers in the latest Mega Pastor Popularity Polls. The latest figures show Rick Warren polling at a disappointing 3rd place among America's Most Popular Pastors. Joel Osteen is in first place followed closely by Paula White.

Saddleback Church's Official press-release announcing the purchase said:

"We are pleased to announce the purchase of the Disneyland Resort. This strategic acquisition will usher in the next phase of Saddleback Church's growth through the creation of the most seeker-sensitive property on planet earth. This new and innovative approach to church and evangelism will draw millions of people each year who would never normally set foot in a traditional church."

Rick Warren says that the park's rides will remain intact but that the park will be renamed PurposeLand.

Said Warren, "We already have plans to begin offering multi-themed worship experiences similar to the worship venues at our main campus.

Starting this Sunday seekers can choose from among these new and immersive worship experiences.

The Jungle Cruise Worship

This eco-friendly worship venue will teach the importance of being a good steward of the Earth. Come dressed in khaki and we'll supply the pith helmet and jungle drums.

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The Pirates of the Purpose-Driven

Avast thar matey! Set sail on this high seas worship adventure.

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Spaced Mountain

This is our fastest and quickest worship venue. Services are only 2 minutes long but worshipers reach speeds of 80 miles an hour and experience up to 3 G's.

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P.E.A.C.E. Plan World
(Formerly the Small World)

Join the children of the world in learning the basics of Rick Warren's Global P.E.A.C.E. Plan in this fun whimsical family friendly worship venue.

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Ribbon cutting ceremonies for the newly acquired park will be later this week. Senators Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama have already said that they will be in attendance.

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Please Note: This post utilizes a logical type of argumentation known as Reductio Ad Absurdum. It assumes Saddleback's ideas regarding church and evangelism are true and then runs them to their absurd logical conclusions.

Here is a the graphic for a REAL Saddleback worship venue. Click Here to see source.

Do you get the point?

Comments

[T]

Nicely done.

[Paul]

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Proverbs 6:16 -19

Although I do not consider PDL as brethren, satire such as this, if it is satire, takes all credibility that this site may have had and casts it to the wind.

I just left a PDLie church with my family and I know that a call for prayer for these misguided people is the only effective message that can counter these false teachers.

If this post is the truth, my sincere appolegies, but proof of such accusations should have been presented with this post.

[James]

Paul,

This post is obviously satire. But it makes a great point. I recently left Saddleback church and the Disneyland mentality is already at work there. Have you ever seen Saddleback's worship venues?

http://www.saddlebackfamily.com/home/todaystory.asp?id=5700

This story links to that page.

Check out the Ohana worship venue. Here is what Saddleback's site says... "Get away to the islands for a time of worship, complete with hula and island-style music. Laid back and relaxed, the "full body" worship with our hula ministry "

How is this ANY different than if Saddleback purchased Disneyland? It isn't!

[Elaine]

Wow! This story is eeerily believable. I almost believed it but then I saw that it was categorized as satire.

[April]

Funny. But sadly close to the truth.

[Amy]

It speaks volumes that I actually had to scroll down to make sure this was satire as I was reading it!

[Julie]

Is this story real or is this a joke? I'm shaking my head right now because I don't think this is funny. If this is a joke, it's a very poor one. If this is real, then I truly believe the antichrist has already purchased season tickets. May God have mercy on us all. Excuse me while I go throw up.

[Eddie Snipes]

Don't forget the 'Haunted Fundamentalist House' and the 'Hall of Outdated Theologians'.

[Robert W]

Good Evening Paul:

Perhaps you could lighten up. Chris is having a little fun while making a (valid) point. The fact that you say "...if it is satire..." validates the point he is making.

By the way, do you not think that "'full body' worship with our hula ministry" is the result of "wicked imaginations"?

Aloha...

[Keith]

This may be satire, but it's eerily close to the reality of what's going on in the church (i.e. "clown led worship", Let It Be Christmas sermon series, etc.)

I just hope no one from Saddleback's Properties Ministry sees this and gets any bright ideas!

[Kristen]

This post is blasphemy...AGAINST Disneyland!! :-)

[Kim]

It's sad that I had to look closely to see if it was true or not. It makes me really sad.

[Jack]

Today's satire, tomorrow's reality...

[Paul]

On my screen the heading "Satire" is greyed out and in micro print.

It certainly would not surprise me if Saddleback did buy the Disney park but I find no humour in souls being lost for eternity. The Saddleback worship themes could have been presented for what they really are - a turning away from God.

The problem with a little fun is the fact that not everyone that reads this post will read the entire text as I obviously missed the greyed out title "Satire" at the very bottom of the post. This site reaches around the world and other cultures and peoples who have no familiarity with the culture of California, the USA or your sense of humour may accept this post as the truth.

No, I cannot lighten up when it comes to souls being led away from God and towards eternal damnation.

[Mrs. Pilgrim]

Paul, satire is not lighthearted. It's razor-edged, and it is aimed at cutting to the bone. If it elicits a humor response, it is only the dry variety--which is not "funny," per se.

Chris, I thought this was rather well done. I figured it was satire from the git-go, of course...

[Robert W]

Paul:

Point well-taken. Sometimes my bent for levity gets the best of me, and I should more thouroughly ponder blog comments before publishing. I still think, however, there is a place for satire as an agent for change, and perhaps, correction.

[Paul]

Mrs. Pilgrim,

satire: (definition from The Pocket Oxford Dictionary) n. use of ridicule or irony etc. to expose folly or vice etc.

Firstly, I do confess that I have ridiculed others for various things and I was wrong.

I've read many of your posts on various blogs and believe that you are secure in your Christian beliefs so I must raise these questions to you:

Have you ever been the object of ridicule by strangers or aquaintances whether it be in satire or dry humour on their part?

What was the first feeling that you felt towards the source of the satire upon being ridiculed?

Should we ridicule those who are lost and leading the lost away from God?

Will ridicule or irony soften the heart of the object of the satire?

Proverbs and Matthew 5 warn us to be careful how we talk to or of others.

[Kyra Gould]

Paul,

Elijah the prophet used ridicule with the prophets of Ba'al. He told them to shout louder because their god may not be able to hear them. He asked them if their god was away on a journey or relieving himself. Why didn't Elijah care about softening the hearts of the prophets of Ba'al?

My family and Ieft a purpose-driven church after the pastor starting preaching about purpose and self-help. I don't believe that Rick and his lackies are even Christians. Ridiculing their absurd and heretical beliefs is a Godly work. Elijah is my proof!

[Lamb]

Paul,
I agree. The end is so very near. There is enough absurd reality, stuff that is so unbelievable, that when we make things up, even though in jest to make a point, people may think it is real, and later when they realize it is not take the side of pdl! They might even refuse to believe anything else we tell them, even though it may be absurdly true! These are crazy days.

Editor: I do love this site. This is a great ministry. I love to see the true events, that are so outrageous that one has a hard time believing they are true, brought to light by this site. That is your very best work. Please continue to bring true events to light on your site. God bless this ministry.

Lamb

[Troy]

Someone help me out here. I'm trying to remember who it was that called the "religous" of their day stiff-necked, brood of vipers, white-washed tombs, thieves, etc... Can anyone help me here?

[michael b]

Great, Finally a site that has really righteous people.
I guess I missed the book in the Bible that foretold that there would really be those on this earth that had the right to ridicule and cast the first stone. Thanks for bringing us this God given blog.

[Chadm]

I thought this posts was true. This is how rumors get started

[carol]

michael b,

Methinks you are doing exactly what you are accusing others of doing. This site really does have righteous people. Thank heavens we have people who are brave enough to expose these churches and yes, I know it's satire because it says so. I have been to Saddleback for a "music conference."I was with my husband and a few others. The others ate it up but my husband and I didn't. Remember the movie "The Stepford Wives?" I felt like I was in The Stepford Church. The people had these robotic smiles on their faces and the whole place gave me the creeps. Yes, I'm giving my opinion just like you gave yours. If we just sit on our um...hands and do nothing, how will others know what's going on? If it's by satire, so be it. I think it was brilliant.

[Mark]

I agree that Saddleback has many weaknesses, but I think this post along with your entire website is as full of unChristian attitude and words and in that way is as sinful as those it accuses. A nonbeliever reading this site would not be drawn to Jesus. It would only cause them to scoff at the absurdity of Christians poking at each other. This site makes me embarrassed to think that I might be a part of the same Family. We are supposed to be known by our love for one another. There is no love here that would please the Lord.

[carol]

So, Mark, are you saying that we shouldn't expose the exponentially growing numbers of churches leading people to Hell? Is it OK with you that these people are ignorant of true salvation through Jesus Christ? Is it just fine to look the other way when pastors use every worldly way to get numbers for their churches and money in their pockets? Is that "un-Christian?" What is un-Christian is to let all this go on and not warn others to steer clear of this false teaching. This isn't just some dissagreement. This is dealing with people's eternal lives. The most loving thing you can do is to alert people to this kind of heracy.

[lost]

If anyone believes Saddleback or Rick Warren is doing something that is inappropriate, then that person must meet with Rick or his staff and conference with him. Also, what should a church service look like? What is the acceptable music, decor, sermon, etc. In my home country, we use local traditional dance as a form of worship. There are no western organs or pews and no choir music. Is Hawaiian hula dancing to worship God wrong? Someone please help me to understand.

Matthew 18:15, 1 John 3:17

[jina]

I have been an active member of Saddleback Church for the past 7 years. I've been a Christian for over 20 years and have attended many bible studies and christian lectures. Your site has literally brought me to tears. What if, just what if, God is using Rick Warren and Saddleback Church to bring the lost to Christ? How will you stand before God and answer Him? As an active member, I have and continue to witness God's love and his saving grace at work there. Rick Warren is a true servant of God. His love for God, the family of God, and especially for the lost challenges me still to this day. Please stop this satire. It is not from God.

[chris]

Satan is the accuser of the brethren...why don't we stop attacking churches that preach the gospel and start focusing on the Kingdom.

Enough said

[chris]

Carol:

Rick preaches from the Bible I have been to Saddleback since the beginning at Trabuco Hills High School. I challenge you to back up your claims. What has Rick said that is "leading people to hell"? That faith alone in Christ is what saves us? That we should serve the body? I dont get all of these misinformed posts? Are you of another religion such as Mormonism or a Jehovah witness, where salvation is add to by works, and not faith alone?? If that's the case I understand why you attack the church. If you are a true Christ follower, stop being the accuser of the bretheren, that is Satans work!

[Israel]

Oh please. I see photoshop all over these photos

[Gregory P. Garwood]

To anyone interested in the truth about Rick Warren and Saddleback Church, search the internet for the ”Church Covenant” of Saddleback. It’s a document of legalism and bondage which is being used by many churches today. Warren and Saddleback actually require church members to sign the covenant. Unless a church is controlling and manipulative, why would they require a signature? Also, how about Warren’s belief that any who do not agree with his purpose driven church must “leave or die?” I will never sign any “covenant” with any church. I laugh at Warren and his “restored” apostholes.