The Museum of Idolatry

Willow Creek Praise Song Never Actually Gets Around to Praising God

Members of Archibald Baptist Church, in Moscow Idaho have been leaving worship services feeling empty and confused ever since their music minister began weaving praise songs from the Willow Creek Association into the Sunday morning rotation.

One praise song in particular even has members confused about the actual point the song is trying to make. That praise song is “Still I Will Worship you”. The chorus of the song is reprinted below.

I will worship You in the midnight hour
I will worship You when I'm in the fire
I will worship You when all hope seems gone
I will stand and proclaim that
(Yes) You are my God
I will worship You

I will worship You I will worship You

Said one church member, “That song is a total rip off. The whole freakin chorus is written in the future tense and each stanza has a condition attached to it. So when we sing it it’s like we're telling God that we're too busy singing this song to actually worship Him right now. But, don’t worry God at midnight we'll worship you or when we're feeling hopeless or catch on fire we'll get around to it. But one thing is certain, we're not going to worship you while we're here in church singing this stupid song.”

When we asked the music minister why he would have his church sing a song that never actually praises God he told us, “There is no verse in the Bible that says that every song we sing in church has to praise God. Those people who are complaining are just immature believers who need to grow up. The reason the song doesn’t praise God is because the song isn’t about God. It’s about us.”

The March 2007 "It's All About Me" Award

The first sentence of Rick Warren's run away best seller, The Purpose Driven Life states, "It's not about you."

Apparently, one of the "leaders" at Saddleback Chruch must have skipped over that sentence, or forgotten about it. This character goes by the name J-Reezy and he appears from time to time in videos produced by the folks at Warren's church, including a rap video for the 2006 Purpose-Driven Worship Conference.

J-Reezy's latest production entitled Hotel, Hotel exemplifies the very antithesis of the first sentence of the PDL. The contrast is so stark that we at A Little Leaven thought it deserved an award.

The award is called “The March 2007 ‘It's All About Me’ Award” and we’re presenting it to Saddleback's own J-Reezy for his music video entitled Hotel, Hotel.

Congratulations J-Reezy! Your video is truly all about you.

The chorus of your song says it all.

Hotel, Hotel yo so sweet
you bring me all the things that I say I need
Hey!
Bring me a toothbrush
Bring me a hair comb
Bring me some Aqua Fina
Bring me my cell phone
Bring me some new sheets
Bring me my car keys
Bring me a sewing kit
Bring me some CD’s

Is the Purpose Driven Life a New Bible?

Saddleback's Missionaries are flying round the globe handing out copies of the PDL to poverty stricken villagers in order to teach them "their purpose". Inmates in Kenya are having their lives transformed by the PDL.

The PDL is such an amazing book who needs the actual Bible anymore?

In fact, if you have the stomach to visit the Purpose Drive Life store on line you’ll find that the Purpose Driven Life is being marketed as if it were a Bible.

It's really, really creepy.

Let’s go shopping and you’ll see what I mean.

	The Purpose-Driven Life - Deluxe Edition This Handsome Italian Duo-Tone® Purpose-Driven Life book will make a wonderful gift. We also have a matching Journal.
	I'd like to know if it comes in a red letter edition?
	The Purpose-Driven Life - Deluxe Edition Combo This Handsome Italian Duo-Tone® Purpose-Driven Life Book and Purpose-Driven Life journal will make the perfect gift.
Here's our personal favorite...
	Purpose-Driven Life Book Cover Great cover for your bible or for your Purpose Driven Life book.
Yes sir, that PDL is sooooo important that we’d better put it in a Bible Cover. But, don't worry if both books don't fit in the cover, you can always make room for the PDL by removing your Bible.

Potty Evangelism?

“Hey Pastor I think we need to do a better job of evangelizing and sharing our faith with the world around us.”

“I agree. Do you have any ideas?”

“I sure do. I think YOU should spend more pulpit time doing in-depth expository teaching from God’s word. You should really go deep into the Bible and teach us what we believe and why we believe it. That would help our members become more informed Disciples of Jesus Christ who are equipped to share the saving message of Jesus' death for sinners with their neighbors. It will be like having an entire church full of evangelists. Imagine what an impact that would have on our community. ”

“Sorry, but I won’t do that. That type of preaching only helps believers and we’ve decided that our services are going to be Seeker Sensitive. You've got to remember that our market survey told us that Seekers don’t want to hear expository Bible sermons. They want more practical messages that teach them life skills like “How to Plan to Win”, “How to be a person of vision”,”How to be a person of Character” and “How to Be Fulfilled in Your Marraige”. We’ve made a commitment to meeting the needs of seekers and I would offend them with if I preached the types of messages that you are suggesting. But don’t think that I don’t care about discipleship and evangelism. They are very near and dear to my heart. Do you have any other ideas?”

“Well, I guess we could trick out the men’s room and make it more manly. Ever since the women’s ministry leader insisted on installing a diaper changing station in the men’s bathroom a lot of men have left the church. Maybe if we put a bunch of manly things in there like racing cars and motor parts the guys won’t notice the diaper changing station and will come back to church.”

“Great idea! That’s what I call evangelism!”

Click Here to See Our Museum of Idolatry Exhibit on ‘Potty Evangelism”

Champions in the Hands of a Genie god

(In order to get the full effect of this post, please read it with a southern accent).

Move over Jonathan Edwards! America doesn’t want to have anything to do with your negative, self-esteem bustin' message about Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.

No sir!

We’ve got a new and improved message from a slick handsome young pastor that keeps the people and the money rollin' in. His name is Joel Osteen.

Joel doesn’t tell us we are sinners. He tells us how to 'discover the champion' within all of us.

We like that message a lot better than the Bible's message about sin, hell and salvation. Plus Pastor Joel’s god is like a genie that wants to give us whatever we want. It's just like that new book "The Secret".

Joel’s latest sermons were so practical, helpful and inspiring that I just want to pinch him. He taught us things like...

Starting Your Day Off Right
Developing Better Habits
Giving Birth to Your Dreams
Making Good Decisions
and How to Have Confidence in Yourself

See how positive Joel's messages are! god is obviously blessing Pastor Joel for teaching such positive messages otherwise we wouldn't have the biggest church in America. Dontcha think?

Exegeting the Latest Movie Themes

Apparently preaching from the Bible and faithfully delivering God's message and doctrines is sooooo boring and passe that we need to supplement it with 'other' more 'relevant' things like the latest themes coming out of Hollywood.

Apparently, that is the case at Southhills Church of Corona, California. Their proudly Purpose-Driven Pastor made the decision to preach an entire series on “The Pursuit of Happyness”. He even plagiarized the movie’s artwork for this sermon series.

Since when are Christian Churches called to preach about the “Pursuit of Happyness”. Did Jesus die on the cross so that we could be successful and happy? Were the Apostles and early Christians martyred because they were telling people how to get what they want out of life?

I guess this is the type of message you should expect from a "church" whose slogan is “Elevate Your Life”.

Instant Sermons, Just Add Money

Pastors now-a-days are busy people. Between working up the latest marketing campaign, teaching the girls in the praise band the newest kewl dance steps, cruising on their Harleys and blogging about their favorite singers on American Idol, they don’t have time to actually read the Bible and prepare a sermon.

But, thanks to Rick Warren and Bill Hybels, busy pastors no longer have to sacrifice precious ‘me time’ crafting the perfect Sunday message.

As this video demonstrates you can have the perfect sermon or sermon series complete with hand picked mood music delivered to your computer in just seconds.

That’s right, busy pastor, put your church on autopilot, kick back, relax and let Warren and Hybels do the flying.

Who Needs Viagra When You Can Have Jesus?

Here's a church that has discovered that people don't want to hear about sin, hell and salvation. They want to hear about SEX.

Yes sir, come to our church and your sex life will be better than you could ever imagine.

Yep, Jesus is now better than any 'sex aide' that you could buy on the internet. This is the ultimate in seeker sensitive messages and marketing.

We'd like to thank Next Level Church in Fort Myers Florida and their website mycrappysexlife.com for teaching us such a new and relevant way to enlarge our churches. I wonder if they hand out cigarettes after the sermon?

Shaking it for Jesus - Saddleback Style

This is a video of a Saddleback Worship Concert.

There are teenage girls doing dance moves that include Pelvic Thrusts.

Is this really worship to the one true God of the Bible or is this worship to one of those pagan sex gods? You be the judge?

Here is one frame from the video of teenage girls 'worshiping' God.

A New Game That Every Home Could Do Without

Honey what do you want to do tonight?

I think we should invite the neighbors over and play that exciting new Joel Osteen Game.

Goody, that sounds like so much fun! Everytime I play I feel like I'm unleashing my champion within.

Oh honey you're such a tiger!

Satan's Sex Ed

Oh the things done in the name of marketing the church.

I'd like to know who the person was who asked themselves WWJD and then came up with this video.

Missionaries for Christ or Missionaries for Purpose?

When a Christian Church sends out missionaries, shouldn't those missionaries be packing their Bibles? Shouldn't those missionaries preach from their Bibles?

Apparently, if you are a missionary sent from Saddleback Church, you don't need to pack your Bibles or preach and teach from God's word. They have a book that is much more important than the Bible. It is called, The Purpose Driven Life. Here are pictures that Saddleback's missionaries shared with the world after a recent PEACE Plan trip to Argentina. Notice which book they are using for their missionary work.

Looks like the PDL is a Bible substitute for Saddleback's missionaries. It's just like Mormons and the Book of Mormon.

Hey that gives me an idea...

I think a fitting name for believers of the PDL would be Warrons.

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You can see entire video by clicking here.